Frederick Douglass: Now More Than Ever!

I was delighted to sit down at Matins today and find that the Episcopal Church is remembering F
Frederick Douglass.  Then I was even more delighted when I went to the monastery for Eucharist and found that they have included him in their calendar.

It would be important to remember Douglass at any time.  His fight for freedom and dignity, his challenge to the churches that did not disavow slavery, inspires me - I hope inspires all of us - to stand against contemporary slavery and oppression.

Oh yes, slavery is alive and well.  It's thriving all over the world, including the United States.  We sometimes call it human trafficking now, but it's the same phenomenon.  Women, men, children either outright abducted, seduced, or misled into positions of helplessness, often under threat to themselves or those they love, locked in and sometimes chained; millions of people are enslaved today.  They work in so many of our booming industries, legal and illegal.  Labor sectors such as domestic service and migrant labor operate with virtually no legal protection, and slavery thrives there.  Our prisons have become mass slave plantations.  Life-long citizens and immigrants are all potential victims.

The Church of England has launched the Clewer Initiative to challenge and eradicate modern slavery.  I'm pleased to say that the Community of St. John Baptist in New Jersey has joined this initiative.  If you want to learn more, start here: https://www.theclewerinitiative.org.

In the U.S. many groups are engaged in this work.  Start with the Polaris Project:
https://polarisproject.org.

As the tide of racism and nationalism rises in the U.S. and around the world, the memory of those who have fought before becomes every more precious.

Almighty God, we bless your Name for the witness of Frederick Douglass, whose impassioned and reasonable speech moved the hearts of people to a deeper obedience to Christ: Strengthen us also to speak on behalf of those in captivity and tribulation, continuing in the way of Jesus Christ our Liberator; who with you and the Holy Spirit dwells in glory everlasting.  Amen.

Your Life as Story

I went to an amazing workshop this weekend.  For years people have said I should write a memoir, and I've tried, then stopped.  This year it finally felt like time - but I don't know anything about creative writing, I'm afraid of being a boring writer, blah blah.  But I decided to commit.  I told my family, and my brother and his wife offered space for me to write next fall.  Then I saw that Beverly D'Onofrio was leading a workshop on memoir writing at Holy Cross.  I held my breath, cancelled two commitments (huge for me), and signed up.

I was terrified.  We had some powerful writers in there, with wonderful rich stories.  I made the cardinal mistake of comparing my writing to theirs, and became convinced again I couldn't do it.  I ran to my room and texted Elizabeth, then I went to lunch.  I told another participant my fear, and she shared hers, and I found my footing again.  I not only had a desire to write, I had a community of writers.

Now I desperately want to write.  I'm looking for the slot in my schedule that will let this become a habit.  I'm pondering setting it up as a separate blog, so I share some of it (assuaging my guilt for not writing here more often).  I have other writing commitments for a while, but I need to start.  15 minutes a day becomes a habit.

Our teacher told us that writing actually heals memories, moving them from the right side of the brain to the left, like EMDR.  That's fascinating, and attractive.  I want to see what happens as I write.

I believe God is in this.  My whole life story is about God finding me and dragging me toward the light.  I believe I have a story that can help others.  But I also know I can slide away from this task simply by not making a new habit.  So I ask your prayers for me to build these muscles and reflexes, to need to write.  And know that I am praying for all of us to find our voices and let God's love flow through us.

God bless you and keep you, and God give you the courage to see and share your story.

Ministry

This is less a reflection than an update, for those of you who follow the Companions.  The forms of my reflection lately have been geared to present ministry.  Sermons, retreat preparation, meetings have been the product of my creative juices.

So: Since I last wrote I've been to San Francisco for the annual board meeting of the Mastery Foundation, a wonderful group dedicated to strengthening the ministry of those who serve others and to working with leaders in places where religion is a source of division.  It's a long way to go to be with people for two days, but it's so enlivening just to be with them that I go.

We spent most of January serving the people of St. Andrew's Episcopal Church in New Paltz.  Their new priest arrives this week, and we are very excited for them.  In the meantime, we've been taking turns supplying there.

Then, last weekend Elizabeth went to an advanced training for Respectful Confrontation, a group dedicated to giving people skills to talk honestly and deeply.  As I've learned, confrontation isn't just about conflict; it is just as confronting to honor and acknowledge people.  (For some of us it's harder to hear praise than criticism or complaint!). That same weekend I went to my diocesan convention in Newark NJ.

But wait, there's more!  This weekend I go to a retreat on memoir writing, beginning a process I'm committed to but terrified about.  I come home, and 3 hours later Elizabeth leaves for two weeks in Israel as the chaplain to a women's pilgrimage.  Then I go off to lead a retreat for the junior class at Berkeley Divinity School.  Thank God for our friends who love to stay here with Shadow!  Thank God for our Coffee Table Companions, who continue to meet whether we are here or not.

Sometimes when we go through these busy periods our friends get worried.  And I don't want to be this busy all the time.  But right now I have a strong feeling that we are being used, and that we are developing skills that will serve us and the Companions in the future.  I hope my writing will inspire others.  I see the results of Elizabeth's confrontation work, as our communication gets stronger and easier.  I love sharing the tools of Mastery with others.  It's all an expression of the Companions charism.

Please pray for us during this busy time.  Pray especially for Elizabeth and her companions, and for the students I will be meeting with.  We are always in the presence of the Holy One, but we need to take time to notice that and to encourage one another.

Thank you for following us, and praying for us.  Thank you for all the ways you serve others.  May you be blessed with ease and flow in all you do today.  Amen.

Cain continued and intensified

Today's first reading tells of Cain and his descendants.  Once again I'm stopped.  I'm struck by the way the best and worst of human culture spring up together.  Cain's offspring generate herding and music and metallurgy.  But at the same time, they move even deeper into violence.

Lamech, the great-great-great-grandson of Cain, boasts to his wives of killing a man for wounding him.  He says, "If Cain is avenged sevenfold, truly Lamech seventy-sevenfold." (Gen 4:24). So vengeance is the name of the game now, and the question is, how much is enough?

Later, Jesus will counsel Peter that forgiving seven times isn't enough; we need to forgive seventy-seven times, or even seventy times seven.  Jesus undoes the knot that is drawing more and more tightly around humanity.  He doesn't limit the vengeance, as the Torah will do (no more than what has been done to you, and eye for an eye); he goes right to the root of the problem, the assumption that vengeance will help.

Of course, there's a good reason for Torah rules.  What do you do with people who just don't understand that vengeance won't satisfy?  Sometimes all you can do is hope they will be content with "getting even."  But it's tricky.  My perception of what is enough, what is "even," may not be so trustworthy when I'm hurt.  That's why we need counselors, advisors, judges.  But once we've begun to relate to one another that way, it's hard to hang on to our basic shared status as beloved children of God.  That's why the Christian Scriptures and many later movements are so critical of believers taking one another to court.  By the time we need to go to court, we're already off track.  And yet, we can't pretend that we will always stay on track.  This dilemma has dogged us for millennia, and today I'm reminded that it's built into our humanity.

We humans are capable of great beauty and creativity.  We are also capable of degradation and violence far in excess of anything other animals do.  We can follow Jesus' path, but we also have the freedom -and often the limited vision - to follow Lamech.

Which way are you going today?  God, please help me follow Jesus.

And yes, I want to know: what was the name of Cain's wife?

Cain's story

This week the daily lectionary has begun again at Genesis.  We've read the first creation story, the second story, and the story of the serpent and the apple.  Today it was Cain's turn.

These stories can seem so packaged, over years of familiarity.  This morning I heard it fresh, or as fresh as I can.  Elizabeth is away, so instead of reading out loud at Matins I can sit with it and take it in at my own pace.

Here's what stood out for me.
Yesterday, after the serpent tricked Eve into eating the apple, God comes by and asks Adam and Eve why they're hiding.  They are honest about it.  God is upset and banishes them from the garden.

Then the next generation grows up.  Likely Cain and Abel heard the story from their parents - "we made a mistake, we disobeyed, and we were punished."  So Cain learns: honesty may get you into trouble.  He murders his brother - first, big mistake.  But then, when God comes by again and asks, "Where's your brother?," he compounds his misdeed by evading.  He doesn't exactly lie, but he doesn't answer.  As if he can avoid trouble that way.

Now, here's a twist.  When God asked Adam and Eve about hiding, did s/he already know what they had done?  It doesn't sound like it.  But God clearly knows what Cain has done.  So Cain's evasion not only doesn't protect him, it gets him in deeper trouble.

One takeaway for me is: there's no sin I can't make worse by denial.  There's no separation from God, from other people, from creation that will not deepen and widen when I refuse to take responsibility.

I wonder: is Cain's mark to protect him from others, or to remind him not to do such things in the future?  God could have killed him, or left him for others to kill.  God protects him, but by leaving a permanent reminder of his misdeed.

Some of us have those.  It's nice to think of Jacob's limp from wrestling with God, but many of us have marks of Cain on our bodies. I lost a lot through my early addictions - not only socially or emotionally, but physically.   And, as much as I might regret that, it does indeed remind me of the cost of separation from God and myself.

God wants to protect me, protect you, even when I need to learn a hard lesson.  And I believe, in some unrecorded corner of our stories, that Cain finds his way back to a relationship with God.  I believe we all can, if we choose.  The slate isn't wiped clean, but we don't have to be stuck in hell either.  Good news.

After Retreat

It's been a very full few weeks.  After Christmas I led the annual 12-Step New Year's retreat at Holy Cross, then we had two days before we began our winter retreat.  Five days of silence in the house, except for praying morning and evening.  We plan out our meals, who is doing what, so we don't have to negotiate during the retreat.

This year we listened to a recording of one of Don Bisson's retreats, on Jung, Intuition, and Creativity.  Both Elizabeth and I are looking to ease the load of daily details in order to create ourselves and the community in new ways.  This means making space.  Sometimes it's a matter of not doing something I've been doing, but other times it's a matter of organization, how to do things in a more effective, ease-filled way.  I'm trying to look at email only once or twice a day, to give my afternoons more to the "details" that clutter my desk, to limit my urge to respond/react to external demands instantly.  It's so easy to feel effective by responding to minutiae!  Easy, but mistaken.

What do I want to make space for?  What I'm doing now.  I want - need - to write more, to create sermons, retreats, a memoir.  Yes, I said it.  I said it a few years ago and let myself get sidetracked, but now the memoir is in the center of my sights.  One way I can proclaim God's healing power is by telling my story.  And I miss writing.  So I'm saying it, again, and asking for your prayers.

Next week will be seven years since we began this crazy adventure.   That time was a burst of creative energy, a delightful blank canvas for us to dance with God.  Now, we are an organization of sorts.  We have ways of being and doing that can become routine, and shut down the creativity that we began with.  Our other Companions have gifts of creativity, and it's time to see how the community we are now will continue to develop.

Elizabeth and I each plan to take a three-month sabbatical, to learn what God is saying to each of us.  Plans are just beginning to take form, but I know mine will include writing.  In the meantime I'm looking for the pattern, and the discipline, to help me.  Please pray that I can slow down enough to hear God, and respond.

What do you need to make space for in this new year?  What might you let go of, or rearrange, to help open the door for God's whisper in your ear?

Holy Innocents, Then and Now

Today the Church remembers the infants slaughtered by Herod, and the flight of the Holy Family to Egypt.  It's a grim reminder that the Gospel is not good news to tyrants.  The fear that lives at the heart of tyranny leads to mass destruction and the worst of lives, both for the victims and for the tyrants.  Jesus interrupts the message that domination is the mark of power, opening a door into the power of vulnerability and openness.  Then and now, power lies in following God and the path of love.  On this day, we see the very human cost of refusing this awareness and substituting our own fear for the rich life we are offered in Christ.

And, as we hear that awful story, we pray for the victims of tyranny today.  We pray for the children sacrificed to the greed and hatred of contemporary "rulers."  We pray for those who grow up in trash heaps, in detention centers, in refugee camps, in hellish "homes."  We pray for those who are separated from their parents by a border or a prison fence; we pray for those sacrificed to someone else's idea of sexual or gender purity; those who are targeted for "ethnic cleansing" or "re-education."

And we pray for the perpetrators of these crimes.  We pray for legislators and for those who enforce the laws they make.  We pray for those who vote for people who would lock up or execute those whose offense is poverty or racial difference.  We pray for ourselves, when we fail to protest.  I pray for myself, for my weak and comfortable heart.  I pray God to announce to the tyrant in me that God is with the poor, the powerless, the forgotten and rejected.  And I pray to respond, not as Herod did, killing the messenger to silence the message, but with courage and compassion.

Some of my Companions are doing this work.  Together we all struggle with how to respond in our own way.  Please pray with me, with us, that we all may be bearers of the good news.