Believe?

Our visit to Omaha was illuminating and inspiring.  Our Companions there are eager to share what they have, to create safe space to talk about what matters to people, to share in a rhythm of prayer, to be accountable to each other.  We had conversations that went deep, and played games that made us laugh our heads off.  We made that space, and dreamed about widening the circle of access to it.

On Sunday Elizabeth and I led a forum at St. Martha's Episcopal Church.  We talked about the Companions, how we came to be and what we are trying to do.  At one point we were asked to talk about what we believe and what we don't believe.  This was an invitation to speak frankly, to model the safety and welcome we announce.  I won't share my answer here; anything I name is just a beginning.  Rather, I'm intrigued by the ways our Christian communities are still formed around ideas rather than relationships.  "What do you believe?" usually translates into doctrines, creeds.  They become like loyalty oaths, outlining to whom I belong and on what terms.

I don't think faith is like that, really.  I think faith, and belief, are about trust.  Where do I put my trust?  With whom or what am I related?  As some people would put it, "Who are your kin?"  And people, unlike ideas, cannot be encapsulated and summarized.  We try: we use codes like Myers-Briggs types, Enneagram, astrology, psychological diagnoses.  We use ethnic and racial categories, or gender or age or sexuality categories.  And each of them tell us something.  We may mention other belongings: religion, denomination, faction, community or society, interest groups.  Again, not wrong, but they don't substitute for the actual encounter with another person.  And God, while more than a person, is a person.  Jesus was and is a person.  The Holy Spirit, the Trinity, the living fabric of the universe: persons as well as energies and forces.  Known by me as person.  Trusted as person.

So what do I believe?  I trust in the power of love that creates and recreates the universe.  I trust in the boundless creativity of that love, working in and around me.  I trust in a force I cannot ever name adequately, but that I can share with others.  I trust in the incarnations of that love.  I rely on the community of those who share that trust, that joy, that wonder.

That may not satisfy you.  But I don't really believe that satisfaction is possible for the hunger that burns in me.  I can glimpse it, but the hunger is meant to lead me on to the banquet bigger than I can imagine or describe.  I'm happy to be hungry, happy to live beyond words, happy to rest in God while traveling to God.  I pray you will also be happy in those ways.  I pray that we will continue to build communities where people of faith can learn that what they "believe" matters less than what they love, and that God loves them in ways they cannot believe!