Hail Mary

Last weekend I led a retreat on Mother Mary.  I had been reading, praying, preparing for nine months.  (Isn't that an interesting number!)  The day came, the weekend flew, and I was left exhausted and a bit overwhelmed.  The stories that people told were amazing: stories of times Mary had healed them or others, stories of their own pain and grief, stories of faith and trust.  As much as I had prepared, I wasn't prepared for the reality of Mary in the lives of these people.  They taught me how much further I have to go, want to go, to know this woman.

I realized that, as much as I've spent my life in feminist studies, and then in a convent, and then devoted to Mary Magdalene, there are still depths of feminine energy that I have not accessed.  This shouldn't be news to me; there are depths to God, to Jesus, to the Holy Spirit that I haven't approached.  But it really landed for me that there is so much more to Mary than I have let in.  I'm still shaped by my Protestant, left-brain heritage.  But I want to let go more, and I think Mary will show me the way.

So I'm continuing to pray the rosary, and to spend time with icons of Mary, and maybe I'll keep reading.  But the deep work will come from the prayer, from music and art and dance.  I will lead the retreat again in the fall of 2020, but I don't need to prepare to lead as much as I need to learn from her what she means.

Hail Mary, full of grace.  Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb, Jesus.  Thank you for showing yourself to so many, and for giving me a glimpse of you.  Help me know you more in the coming days.  And yes, please pray for me, for those most ignored and rejected, for us all.  Amen.