Gratitude November 30

Well, here we are at the end of "gratitude month" and almost to Advent.  I will continue to name gratitudes each day, as I have before, but I won't be writing them here.  I want to turn my attention, and yours, to the One who is coming.

I'm so grateful for these past two days of retreat.  I read some wonderful things in preparation for the next few weeks, but they weren't "work"; they set me on fire, remembering that God so deeply desires  our reconciliation and wholeness that She came to us, and comes to us, and invites us to come to Her in turn.  We are destined for adoption, which is just as real as "natural" birth.  We can, we are meant to, become children of God.  Jesus shows us how, if we dare.

I'm grateful for the silence that let me think more deeply and set my heart on fire.  I'm grateful that Cathy could be with us for a day, and that she too was glowing silently.  I'm grateful that soon I'll get to talk about what is in my heart, when we go to Cincinnati.  I'm grateful for disciplines that open these spaces for me - disciplines like writing a blog!

I'm grateful to you who read this, daily or weekly or occasionally.  I know how much there is to read out there - I myself get easily overwhelmed, and have to miss a lot of wonderful writing.  So thank you for including me in your reflections.

For what are you grateful today?

Gratitude November 28 and 29

I'm writing this ahead of time.  Tuesday and Wednesday we will be in silent retreat.  I'm grateful for the privilege of being able to take this time, and for the grace to avail myself of it.  If you have never made a silent retreat day, it can seem daunting; but let me encourage you to try.  Some people will join us tomorrow just for the day, dipping a toe in.

Making a retreat is not the same as being alone at home; many of us do that.  We turn off the devices and let our minds and hearts run to God.  That includes a lot of restlessness, even anxiety: what will I do for all that time?  Is it a waste of time?  What if I get bored?

Retreat is a great opportunity to find out what is really rattling around in your mind, what messages you are playing without knowing it, and to turn them over to God for healing.  It's not vacation, by any means; it's more like opening the windows and letting the Spirit blow through.  Brrr!  It's especially powerful as we approach Advent.

I will return on Thursday, God willing (it's a busy day) to end the month with you all.  I'm grateful for those who read, and for those who share, and for those who ponder and make their own gratitude lists.

For what are you grateful today?

Our November newsletter

I like to think each month's newsletter is important, but this one I'm sure about.  We are organizing new covenant groups and rethinking our "threads" or "pathways" for companionship.  Check it out!

If you're curious, drop me a line.

http://conta.cc/2AzE5u6

Gratitude November 27

Today I'm grateful to have a printer/copier that works.  This is our third copier in five years, so it can't be assumed that any copier will do!  It isn't fancy, but it's wireless and it serves most of our needs.

Just now I was printing out an Advent worship booklet for Matins and Vespers.  We will be away from home for two of the three weeks of Advent, and don't want to carry the enormous St. Helena Monastic Breviary (sorry, Sisters, it's wonderful but huge).  I copied pages from that and from our own worship booklets, so we have a portable version.  With our St. Helena Psalters we will be fine.  And some folks might want to join us for worship in Cincinnati (we will be at the Cathedral), and if they do we can use their copier to make it easy!  It's not pretty, but it works.

I'm old enough to remember mimeograph machines.  Someone had to type a stencil and then run it through this messy machine.  As I start to write what a pain that was for secretaries, I think of all the people whose jobs have been phased out due to technical advances.  I know that some of those jobs have been replaced by others using the new technologies, but there's still been a lot of transition and loss - and resentment and backlash.  So, as I give thanks for the privilege of this equipment, I pray for those who do not have access, those who are in cyber-deserts and shut out of the "new economy."  I pray that we will develop the wisdom to use our technology for the glory of God and the good of all creation.

For what are you grateful today?

Gratitude November 26

Late in the day.  I'm grateful for Aidan's powerful preaching this morning.  He nicely dissected the threads of empire that linger in the "feast" of "Christ the King."   I'll let you watch the whole thing on the Holy Cross sermon blog:

https://ohclectionary.blogspot.com

Aidan pointed out that with Constantine's conversion the empire did not become Christian; rather, the Church became imperial.  Within the liturgical churches this shows up especially in architecture and vestments, direct borrowings from Roman imperial culture.  But it sneaks into the mindset of so many Christians who miss the days when "we" set the rules and the standards, when the whole commercial world stopped on Sunday, when children went to Sunday School and were "confirmed" whether or not they found any faith to affirm.

I wish the world stopped and we all observed a day of rest together.  But we don't.  I am mindful of faithful Jews, who have long lived in countries that didn't stop for their Sabbath; and now, of Muslims in non-Muslim countries who contend with the same thing.  We who actually worship on Sunday, who try to rest, have brothers and sisters in our complaint - and they have experience to share with us.

So today I'm grateful too for being a follower of Jesus in this time when that does not go without saying.  I'm grateful to be part of a movement that is replanting in the midst of ruins.  I trust, and I stand for, a Church that does not rest on secular authority or custom but on the naked love of its members for Christ, and the desire to follow him and become one with him.

Bless you all as you root yourself in the Gospel, and trust in God alone.  I believe that is enough.

Gratitude November 25

Today I'm grateful for bookkeepers, especially Liz Gurdin.  Liz patiently sorts through my discretionary account each month, and I've never heard her swear or raise her voice.  This is remarkable.

As monastics under a vow of poverty, we receive an allowance to cover personal items such as clothing and entertainment.  Each month we turn in our receipts, and hope everything balances.  This includes library fines, parking meters, donations, anything we spend "our" money on.

I did this for years with no trouble.  I carried my money in an envelope, I didn't use a credit card, I wrote down everything on the envelope.  We're talking very small sums here.  Then, after a few years "in the world," we began the Companions and the routine began again.  But this time some part of my brain seems to have worn out.  Month after month my money doesn't balance.  It's close, but not perfect.  So I've tried using my community credit card whenever possible, so there's a record of my purchases and fewer chances to go wrong.  That helps with my overall accounting, but my tiny little pool of cash is still in disarray.  I try to write down everything and/or get a receipt, but I'm off.  I can't even be sure how much I'm off, until Liz does the books!  I'll think I'm off by $3.35, and she'll find another $5.67 missing.  It's crazy, and humbling.

In college I took bookkeeping and accounting.  Both times my instructors said I was a natural, meant to be an accountant.  This is hilarious.  Whatever aptitude I had is long gone.  I wander in a world of dollars and cents.  If not for Liz, it would be worse.  At least she keeps me within ten dollars or so!

This may not seem like a big deal, but it's frustrating and humbling.  St. Benedict counsels us to seek humility.  Perhaps God has sent me this stumbling block to keep me from thinking I can do it all alone.  It certainly is working!

Thank you, careful and orderly people, in all walks of life.  Thank you for putting up with those of us who are challenged in those ways.  Thank you for all the ways you hold together our world.

Gratitude November 24

Somehow yesterday's post ended up in my draft folder.  Happy Belated Thanksgiving!

Today I'm grateful for old and new friends who joined us for dinner last night, but I have another gratitude from that night.  Our cat, Shadow, spent time on the back of the couch and eventually locked eyes with one of our guests, Michelle.  I couldn't take a picture without moving, and so disturbing the scene.  You'll have to imagine: regal, focused cat gazing at human, aiming either to penetrate her soul or bend her to her will (it wasn't clear, and probably for Shadow they're the same thing).  Michelle has a dog, so it might also have been a moment of declaration: I smell your dog.  Keep it away from me.  This is my house.

Whatever she intended, Shadow displayed her full beauty and focus for us.  I give thanks for this cat among cats, this beautiful and mostly well-behaved feline.  Does she teach me about God?  Hmmm.  Perhaps she shows me sides of creation that don't always make me comfortable; the casual predatory and cruel parts.  She lets me love her, even when I don't understand her, and in that she mirrors God.  I have to share her love with others, and that's good practice.  I love her, but she doesn't belong to me or to the Companions.  She is who she is.

Thank you, God, for those companions of other species who round out my picture of creation.  Thank you for silly, subtle, soft, stubborn companions of all species.  Thank you for giving me the capacity to love them.

For what are you grateful today?