What's your racket?

Just a few days after preaching the second sermon at Redeemer (my last post), I went to my semi-annual meeting of the Mastery Foundation's School for Leadership.  During our time together we talked a bit about the concept of "racket."  A racket is a complex with the following elements: a fixed way of being, a recurring complaint, a behavior or situation that is unwanted but persists.  Every racket feels awful, yet it carries payoffs that keep us going: we get to dominate others (or avoid being dominated), we can justify ourselves (either by being right or by making others wrong), and we can look good even while we're losing at whatever most matters to us.  But the costs are great: we lose energy, relationship, joy, and self-expression.

I started to suspect I had a racket going when I was asked what I want to work on in myself in the coming months.  I mentioned my persistent difficulties in building and maintaining connection.  But when it came time to actually do something different, I realized that I am more connected than I think.  I may not be connected to everyone I'd like to be, and I certainly am not connected to some people I think I "should" be to be a "good" person, but I'm surrounded by friends and companions.  So I learned about my racket.

I tell you this because I'm excited, on the verge of a breakthrough about this, but also because it seems to go so well with last week's Gospel.  I'm that guy by the pool, whining about why I can't get it.  But when Jesus asks, "Do you want to be healed?" I'm not sure.  I kind of like my racket.  I'm not sure why, exactly, but I'm going to find out.  I'm getting in that pool!

Do you have a racket going somewhere, a little self-talk that justifies limitations even when they hurt?  Ask Jesus to help.  Really, I think it's that simple.  Just say, "Help me.  I'm stuck in this stagnant place, and I want out!"  If we keep praying, we get conscious, and we get to choose.  And sometimes, we get healed even before we're ready to choose.  So don't ask unless you're really willing to be thrown in the pool, or at least willing to be thrown in anyway.

I could write all day about the last three days, but I've got work to do and people to talk to!
Have a blessed Ascensiontide.