A School of Love

Elizabeth and I have continuing shared reading as part of our formation.  We're currently reading Michael Casey's book, Strangers to the City, on the Rule of St. Bendict.  It spurs great reflection and conversation, even when we disagree with particulars.

In his discussion of chastity, Casey refers to St. Aelred's description of monastic life as a "school of love." This is really powerful and to the point for me.  We are about conversion of our lives and hearts, from fear in all its forms to love, openness, and compassion.  That shows up not only in chastity, but also in being willing to live with less, to listen to another's guidance and direction, to serve others.  This school of love answers my deepest needs for belonging and purpose.

Yesterday the school of love appeared again.  Our dream team met to consider how to be companions.  We compiled responses to questions we had asked locally, and the main thread that came out was the desire for a community that supports us in ongoing "conversion of life" - living by the values we want to live by, pursuing the disciplines that are part of that, rejoicing with us and comforting us as we journey.  We want to be a school of love.

We made amazing strides in our discussion.  Details will appear over the next few months.  We are clear that we are building community, not an organization, not a hierarchy.  We are going to be companions together, supporting one another in our various life situations, teaching one another even as we learn about love together.

So as usual after these meetings, I couldn't sleep.  I'm exhausted.  I'm a bit terrified.  We just gave birth, and the baby has a life of its own.  We're not in control.  Everything we hoped for is happening.  So, I guess like a new mother, I'm terrified.  And exultant.  I can't wait to watch it grow up, but I also want to catch my breath, get pictures for the scrapbook, and just enjoy it.  But even as I say that, it's starting to cry and want food and crawl . . .

I wonder if this is how Jesus felt after he started calling people, proclaiming the kingdom?  Suddenly people are interrupting his meals, his homilies, his prayer time.  It's what he came for, but I expect he was daunted too.  Whether he was or not, I sure am!

Keep praying!  Keep giving thanks!  Stay in school!