Advent again

It was almost a year ago that I moved up here and the Companions took the next step into existence.  We keep taking the next step, and it seems just methodical and orderly, until someone says, "I can't believe how far you've come so fast!"  And then I see it's true.  It's one thing to name steps toward "birth" - our own commitments, forming covenants, forming a corporation to receive donations, starting a network of companions.  It's another to actually see so much happen.

God is in those events, I know, energizing and guiding us.  But plans and steps can easily become a matter of our own will, unguided by God. So today, early in Advent, I give thanks for those moments when we have paused, prayed, and waited.  Without that, we will just be another project - and likely one that flames out.

In the past year, we've had several people express interest in a close relationship, though not residential, or not yet.  That's exciting - we want people to be curious and hungry.  But now we're in a new place.  People are starting to ask in that serious way, the way that comes with tears and tremors and nervous laughter.  We're in the territory of the holy.  And that is not a place we can plan.  We can take steps - we must - but we cannot know what God intends for those seekers, or for us.  We have to paused, pray, and wait.

In a lovely meditation, Paula Gooder explores Sarai's decision to have Hagar bear a child by Abraham.  She couldn't wait for God's promise to manifest, so she engineered a "solution" that ended with heartache and rivalry and distrust.  It's a wonderful reminder of what can happen when we turn from following the path of trust.  In this tender, ever-new, ever-emerging place, plans must be held like butterflies.  If we are patient, the butterfly will show us who she is.  If we rush, she will fly away or die in our tight fist.

I give thanks for an amazing year, for God's spirit and strength - and I pray to pause, pray, and wait in the coming year.

Blessed Advent to everyone!