See, now is the acceptable time! See, now is the time of salvation!
Blessed Ash Wednesday to you all. I am not committing to write a daily blog this Lent, but I will write occasionally. My work this Lent is to go deeper, to confront the fears and demons that keep me living on the surface of my life. One of those demons is the desire to look good, to be productive, to spread the word about the Companions. Now, there’s a holy desire there too, the real desire to share the treasure I find in walking with Jesus and living his way as best I can, but I can get derailed even in the good path. I can start building an image rather than sharing from the heart.
Can anyone relate to that?
So this Lent I’m doing less in order to be more. I’m not leading any retreats. I’ll write when I have something to say. I’ll try to make it mean something and not be on a schedule. And I’ll be praying, and crying a lot.
Oh yes, my Lent has begun. During our long retreat in January I felt this call to go deeper, and now I know it is a journey into all my fears and deepest desires. I’ve been crying a lot lately, certain I’m not up to the next stage and that I’ll be doomed to sit by the side of the road while others journey on. My fear says I’ll be the one cheering you on while I sit safely at home.
But I have been here before. And when I get scared, I have companions to remind me that this fear is a lie.
I’m going to Jerusalem this Lent. I think it’s going to cost me a lot: my self-image, my certainty about what is what and who is who. But I know it will bring me more than I can ask or imagine. I know Jesus is with me, and before me. I know the company of women and men who walked with him are walking with me. I know Mary Magdalene is here.
I know it. I know it just enough to choose it today.
Whatever your journey this Lent, know that you are not alone. The company of those living and dead are with you. I’ll be with you, in prayer if not in daily words. Please be with me, and pray for me, for us. God bless you all.
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