Last Sunday I preached and presided at St. Gregory’s Church in Woodstock, NY. I usually post my sermons, but this time I can’t.
Early in the week I had a sermon outline. Then the shootings started. By midweek I actually had a sermon, not great but OK, centered on Colossians 1:1-14. I was a little disappointed with it, but it was a busy week and I was filling in.
Then Friday hit. It wasn’t the fact that this time police were shot; it wasn’t that the earlier deaths didn't matter. My rope just snapped. I threw out the sermon.
I didn’t try to write another. I had time. I just knew I didn’t want to go in with nicely packaged words. I usually write to gather my thoughts, and I love the process of writing, but this was not a time for that. I needed to speak from my heart, and to listen to their hearts.
Off I went on Sunday, with a slip of paper. I know some of what I said. I know what I saw in their faces. I felt deeply privileged to be there that day.
At the risk of returning to too many words, I have some things I want to say now.
Last year I read Shelly Rambo’s book, Spirit and Trauma. She writes powerfully about the ways that trauma lingers even into “resurrection” moments, and she uses the insights of trauma theorists and healers to read Scripture. Ever since I read it, I’ve been aware of trauma in a new way.
Last weekend I thought about the question of why the United States is so violent. It’s not just about the availability of guns; it’s about why we think we need them. It’s not just racism. Racism is real, and yes, making guns available leads to increased shootings. These are both easily documented. But why do these cluster here?
I think part of the answer is that virtually all of our ancestors came here fleeing some sort of trauma. For some it was religious persecution; for others it was economic hardship and famine; some were sent as prisoners; and some were enslaved and brought here by force. Even Native Americans have this history, as invaders enslaved them and drove them from their land. Trauma is deep in our soil.
People who came as voluntary immigrants came to a place where things would be better, and often they were - even when they were hard. But they did not leave the trauma behind. Trauma gathers in our bones and our muscles, in our adrenal glands. Our ancestors carried the pain of the world to this place, to this “beacon of light.” All the pain that people can inflict on one another lives in our cultural DNA.
The only way to overcome this is to get very intentional about loving and forgiving. We will not end our trauma history, but we will come to terms with it and not be ruled by it. We have to start over. We have to love. We have to forgive; not to excuse, not to ignore, but to release ourselves and one another from the cycle of hate.
How? Well, I missed an opportunity (many, really), but others showed up. I planned to be at a prayer vigil last night, but someone else needed me. As it turned out, the group I needed to be with wanted to talk about race and how to be part of the healing. So we were six people who were trying to open our hearts.
Was it enough? Nothing is enough, but everything matters.
Another friend called to talk about creating a workshop using tools we teach in another context in order to initiate conversations around reconciliation - conversations our group has used for decades in Israel and Palestine, and in Northern Ireland.
Is that enough? No, but everything matters.
With enough leadership, people can do this. People did it in South Africa, and in Rwanda. People do it in their towns and their homes. It’s not a one-time process - the transformation is never permanent - but it’s real.
Please, be a leader today. Don’t wait for someone else to go first, or go big, or have a plan. Just please, seek opportunities to love and forgive. Cry for one another and with one another.
The future of the world depends on this, people. No kidding. Jesus has already intervened. God has already given us what we need. Now we get to choose whether to live in the reality of love or stay trapped at Calvary, fighting over whose fault it is. Jesus is waiting for us to catch up. Step into resurrection.
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