Follow the Call!

If you follow my posts at all, you know they’ve been few and far between.  I really want to write, I believe I’m called to share the gospel through writing, but something is always in the way.  I put writing times in my calendar, and then they get used in other ways.  People want to meet for discernment; we’re organizing covenant groups; a retreat needs preparation.  There’s always something.  And all these things are good, they are all ways we further the mission of CMA.  But I’m not writing.  I’m not writing large pieces, and I’m not blogging.  I’m not writing.

I don’t know whether this is resistance, or something else.  Resistance is possible; I’ve been doing a lot of inner work, and some part of me may not want to surface enough to share with others.  Or it may be that the personal journalling I’m doing is using up that urge.  But I don’t think so.  I think it’s some form of sinfulness.  It may be sloth - taking the easier road, doing the “urgent” task rather than the important one.  It may be vanity, doing what makes me look good in the eyes of others rather than the slower, harder work.  It may be a result of not knowing how to say no to others, letting them set my agenda.  Is there a name for that sin?  Whatever it is, I have a feeling I’m being unfaithful.  In the name of things I “have to” do, I’m abandoning the thing I’m called to do.

This morning we read the first seven verses of the letter to the Romans.  Paul is “called to be an apostle, set apart for the gospel of God” (1:1).  We talked a little about the power of that clarity, and our awareness that we too are “called to belong to Jesus Christ” (1:6) and to “be saints” (1:7).  Paul is ruthlessly single-minded about what he’s up to.  Me?  I’m all over the place.  My mission is to proclaim the transforming power of encountering Christ.  There are lots of ways to do that.  But if I am evading the way I am to do it, I’m being unfaithful to my call.

So here I am.  I’m praying to rearrange my schedule and stick to it, because sharing with you matters to me.  I don’t know most of you personally, but I really feel it when I share and you click a like or write back.  Please pray that I will remain faithful, and that my words will be those I’m supposed to share.  

And let me prompt you: Is there something you are called to do that you are avoiding, or just not getting to?  If so, know that I will be praying for us all to follow our particular vocations.  I’d love to hear about your struggles and to know you are praying with me.  Together we can be more than any of us can be alone.  May God bless you on your journey.