We are in the throes of preparation for our annual celebration this afternoon, so this writing will be brief. Each year, however, my gratitude grows. Mary is the patron saint of converts, and that's me. So many times!
On this day in 1985 I began my journey of 12-step recovery. That was a conversion, a turning from life to death. I didn't know it was Mary's day; I didn't know much about Mary. But she was there.
I've had other conversions before and after. There was the one at age 15 where I stopped doing drugs, when I realized I would die soon if I didn't stop. There was the one where I began to seek help for the pain in me. There was the one when I let Jesus love me, and let myself love Jesus. There were so many others.
Our vows call us to continual conversion of life. And in this they are not unique to monastics; they are part of our baptismal covenant, in which we commit to turn to Christ over and over. Likely if you read this blog you have experienced these conversions in your life.
As Mary reminds us, the root of conversion is love. God loves us and calls us to life, and some part of us responds. Our ability to love many be imperfect, but we are driven by the love we find to love more.
The result of conversion is deeper love. Every new place turns out to be a way station. There's another frontier of love waiting for us to say yes. Mary likely thought that being with Jesus while he was alive was the ultimate gift, until she found him again in the garden. Then who knows? Who knows what deeper love she experienced after his ascension? Legends abound, but the mystery of more is deeper than any answer. "The love of Christ urges us on" (2 Cor. 5:14).
The love Christ has for us, the love we have for Christ - these never fail, never end, never diminish. We can forget for a time and turn away, but Christ's love calls us. Nothing can separate us from that love.
Give thanks this day for all your conversions, all the loves you have known, all the joy and the pain that have come to you on the way. And give thanks for what is to come, for the deeper joy that awaits us. God bless you all.
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