Effing the Ineffable

Last weekend we led a retreat on Christ Sophia, the feminine face of God.  The participants were challenged and stimulated, and so were we.  We kept noting that God is in fact beyond categories, beyond masculine and feminine, encompassing all.  We are the ones who assign markers and boundaries and shapes to God.  It's important to see images of God beyond patriarchal ones, and to hear language of God in her wisdom, but it's a way station to the real mystery of God.

As we prepared for the retreat, I was deeply challenged to encounter this God beyond images and words.  I've always had an icon on my prayer desk.  Usually it's been Jesus, but sometimes Mary Mother or Mary Magdalene has been there.  But there's always been an image, a person for me to address.  But lately I just can't do it.  Or, I won't.  I don't know who I'm addressing in my prayer, and I don't want to pre-form the encounter by imposing my images.  I thought of getting an icon of one of the wonderful Christ Sophia images available now, but I don't want that either.  I need to let God be.

Elizabeth felt the same way.  Perhaps it's from spending the summer outside, encountering the powerful forces of nature.  Perhaps it's simply the reading and prayer that come with retreat preparation.  Anyway, we agreed.  So, in time for creation season, we each cleared out the icons.  Our chapel is centered on rocks and sea creatures we found this summer, and on the world outside our windows.  This doesn't substitute the rocks for the icons as images of God (I hope!), but gives us a focal point that can't be turned into a person.

We did  keep the tabernacle.  We talked about this: who are we to keep God in a box?  Did God tell us to build Her a house?  But we agreed that we, embodied humans, need that reminder of God's presence.  The fact that it is closed confirms that it is not for us to see casually, that the contents of the box exceed our comprehension.  But we need the sign of the presence, even as we know the presence cannot be contained in one location.

So, we are walking this strange land, wondering who we will be if our God images change.  Maybe you've wondered the same thing.  I don't know the answer.  I'm uneasy with the quest, one I've not sought exactly but which I find myself on.  I like to think that others are on that road with me.   I like to think that you are.  God be with you, wherever you are.