On the Mountaintop

I've spent a lot of time these past few days pondering the readings for Transfiguration Sunday.  Moses' time with God on the mountain especially struck me this year (Exodus 34:29-35).  The intimacy of that converse really landed.  Moses has these moments with God, speaking face to face, but no one else is invited.  And no one else is invited.  It matters that these moments are so private.  The people see the impact of that encounter on Moses' face, but they do not share in the encounter itself.  And Moses knows better than to try to explain.  He covers his face with a veil, to make things as ordinary as they can be for people who can't stand the full-wattage presence of God.

Just before this, in the daily Office readings Jesus told his followers to pray in secret (Mt 6:1-6).  He'll say it again on Ash Wednesday.  His point, it seems to me, is that true prayer is precious and intimate.  To really encounter God we need to pull in a bit, to shelter that tender thread, to let it take root in us rather than run around exclaiming and announcing that we've prayed, or received a message.  There's a time for proclamation, of course, but the deepest encounter with God takes place in private.

This past week I celebrated a milestone in my recovery.  On Saturday my home group makes a big deal out of these milestones, and I was looking forward to sharing the message that continued recovery is possible.  But I got a greater gift.  There was a snowstorm - not a bad one, but sufficient to spook some people.  A lot of people.  My group, which usually runs about 20, had five people including me.  But those five people included some of my favorite companions on the journey.  So instead of a lot of hoopla, and gifts I don't need, I got deep sharing and love with a few people.  It felt, not like Moses on the mountain - that came during my private prayer time - but it felt closer to God.  I found I was grateful for the small group.

I wonder if you can relate to this.  Have you had moments when your encounter with God needs sheltering?  When you need to not tell people what happened?  When you need to veil your face because it shines too brightly?  I hope so.  If you haven't, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Mother in secret, and your Mother who sees in secret will reward you (Mt 6:6).

And when the light comes, hug it close.  Cover your face, close your door.  Be with God.