Wilderness

 

Yesterday I was talking with someone who mentioned that he had always assumed that growth is about confronting things and making people change.  He is learning that that isn't true.  I need to learn that too.  I think Jesus can teach me about that.  Maybe you too.

When Jesus goes to the wilderness, he wasn't there to make anyone change: not himself, not others.  He likely knew that he'd be confronted by his "demons," his desires and fears, but he didn't go for self-improvement.  He was driven by the Spirit to allow himself to be cleansed of anything that stood between him and God, him and God's mission for him.  I'm certain he grew through that experience, he came out equipped for the ministry and the sacrifice he performed, but he didn't do that through his own power.  He prayed, he listened, and he obeyed the word he heard.  He didn't even make himself change!  He let God take care of that.  Anything that might be a barrier to his purpose would be purified by God, not by making himself change.

For me, growth is about letting myself be confronted, and letting God change me.  When I let myself be confronted by others, or by my conscience, I open a channel for God to work.  It usually involves grieving some relationship or opportunity that has gone awry, and forgiving myself and others, and waiting for God to show me a better way.  I don't like doing this work.  But I don't know an easier way; I don't know any other way that will take me back to God and myself.

As we enter into Lent, I'm praying to be open to God's word and love.  I know that will mean confrontation with myself, and perhaps with others.  Jesus did after all confront others, and Paul tells us to "teach and admonish one another in all wisdom."  But it's not up to me to change others, or even to change myself.  It's up to me to notice what is put before me, and to ask God for courage and strength to withstand the temptation to evade it.  

And then, it's up to me to let the angels minister to me.  They're all around.  Can you see them?

Blessed and holy Lent to you.