Hi folks,
Some of you said you couldn't post on the blog.  I've changed the setting to allow you to write back.  Please try, so I know if that worked!

A beautiful day up here, sunny and warm after several inches of snow Thursday night.  We had a great second meeting of women, with 10 of us in our tiny living room.  We're going to have to move!

I'm so inspired by these women.  People say that it takes faith and courage to do what Elizabeth and I are doing, but I think it takes a ton of faith and courage and stamina to do everything that people are expected to do these days, and still make time for sharing about their faith.  In a world that sees that as a luxury, it takes a clear vision and firm resolve.  So thank you all for showing up!  I'm looking forward to hearing from everyone, and seeing the leadership in each of us blossom.

After a week thinking about Beguines, now I'm reading Teresa of Avila for the Women and Christianity series.  She lived a very different life from the Beguines, but they shared a vivid passion for life.  She included dancing at her convents, and is sometimes shown with a tambourine.  That's what I want - dancing for recreation!  Beguines with tambourines!  A big swirl of rejoicing in the love of God.

But now, for something completely different - Vespers at the monastery.  A swirl of rejoicing, but so stately and quiet you might almost miss it if you don't pay attention.  Listen . . .

Begin the Beguines!

I've been reading about the Beguines as part of my preparation for my series in Women and Christianity, and I'm so excited!  I think we are the next wave of Beguines!

The Beguines were groups of women (there were some men, called Beghards, in separate communities) who were primarily based in the Netherlands and Belgium, from the 12th century through the 15th (though I hear there are still one or two houses today).  They lived and prayed together, but they were not enclosed.  They worked in various industries to earn their living, including weaving and teaching.  They did not take life vows, and they were free to leave.  Some were married, but all took vows of celibacy while they were members.  They did not have a distinctive habit, but lived simply.  They did not have a formal written rule - they lived according to their Gospel values.

Often the Beguines lived clustered around monasteries.  Some lived together (an early use of the word "convent"), and eventually many gathered into large compounds called beguinages.  They were not recognized by the institutional church, except as a threat.  Many Beguines were suspected of heresy, and one, Marguerite of Porete, was executed for her "suspect" writings of mystical love.

As I read, I thought: this sounds like the Companions.  When we first began meeting, in fact, one of our earliest collaborators suggested we look at the Beguines, but we never really discussed them.  But now I think she was brilliantly perceptive.  Networks, clustered but loose; women living according to values rather than regulations; women madly in love with God, and not just as a father figure.  Wild women - of the most respectable sort, of course.

I don't know if this is us.  It's early.  But we could do worse.

It seems that every time the Church gets itself stuck, tripping over its own institutional shoelaces, the Holy Spirit sends a breath that can't be taken in through normal channels.  And some people are lucky enough to catch the breeze and float with it.  I pray to be one of those, and I pray that you will be too.

Let's begin the Beguine - again!

Unfolding

We had our first gathering of women this past Friday. We kept it small - our living room is tiny - but what an amazing group of women! I didn't know most of them before, but I'm so looking forward to getting to know them. We scheduled two hours, and thought we might finish early, but instead we ran out of time before we could really talk about what we'd like to do together. Just hearing each of them was a powerful experience in itself.

We asked them about themselves and about their ministry. It was clear that some women aren't sure they have ministries. That word has so often been reserved for clergy, or people with official titles. But many of the most devoted ministers I know don't have a title or training. They just bake, or cook, or check up on people. They teach. They listen to others. We miss so much of the action of God when we fit it into professional slots.

Afterward, Elizabeth and I looked at each other and said, "something amazing just happened. What was it?" We don't know. But I know the Holy Spirit was singing and dancing among us. Some seed was planted. We plan to do this every two weeks, and see what grows.

Curious? Write me, write us. And tell us what your ministry is!

Last night I began a six-week series at St. Paul's in Englewood NJ, on women and Christianity.  I'm excited for the topic, which is dear to my heart, but also because I'm finally learning Power Point.  I'm not a techno wizard, so something has to really matter to me to get me over the hump.  Like writing a blog!!  Generating newsletters!!  I'm so excited by the promise of what we are doing here that I'm willing to learn new things, and even enjoy them.

I've heard that the test of a vocation is whether it makes more of you, calls you to be more than you were.  By that standard, the Companions are very right.  I want to tell everyone about it, about us, and that gets me to learn new things.

Now if I can just get the computer to talk to the projector . . .

So what so you love enough to try new things for?

Ash Wednesday

I tried to post yesterday, and ended up at another blog I share with some people - oops!

Yesterday was Ash Wednesday.  It was such a joy to spend it in community, in silence.  There's a real power for me in being silent with others.  It's companionable.  We can be together, while being in our own thoughts and prayers.  The liturgy at Holy Cross was beautiful.  I love to preside at
Eucharists, but I also love to receive, to not have to do the next thing.  And it's great to be part of a well-oiled liturgical machine.

If silence was a joy, fasting was not so much.  We didn't do the full-bore fast, but I ate little enough that I stayed hungry all day.  It reminded me of the millions of people, here and globally, who experience that feeling every day, with no hope of better the next day.  Eating my little portion of rice and beans, I knew that for many this would be a whole day's nutrition.

So will this change my patterns and my commitments this year?  I hope so.  For now I'm back to being gluten free, meat free, dairy free.  I know I'll feel better, and the planet will thank me.  But where is my chocolate?

Thanks to Sarah for the tip about Shadow's stress.  I'll see what I can do!

Shadow's spa

I'm being reminded that moving is stressful.  In case I want to minimize my own stresses, my cat is holding up a mirror.  Shadow is a very sociable, easy-going cat, but she has met her match in Phoebe, Elizabeth's cat.  Phoebe is furious that Shadow has moved in.  She pursues her, even though she has no claws.  Shadow has claws, but she hasn't learned that she has the upper paw.  We have been negotiating who goes where, which doors are open, trying to help them get used to the change.  Some days seem better.



But last night, after a day that seemed pretty good, Shadow peed on the bed.  My bed, where I was sleeping.  In the morning she used the litter box pretty much nonstop, and was generally restless and miserable.  I took her to the vet, who diagnosed her with bladder cystitis - a common response to stress in cats!  So she got some pain pills, and an antibiotic in case it's a bladder infection, and she got a prescription to relax.  Now we're in my room, her litter box is back in here, the door is closed, and she is getting some rest.  My sheets and blankets are cleaned and dry.  I've promised her a spa day, or two.

What makes this more than an interesting story?  I think Shadow is manifesting what we all are going through in the new CMA eastern household.  We want this change (more than our cats do!), but it's still stressful.  Like them, we have days that are two steps forward, then days that seem to stall or go backward.  I'm trying to get used to a monastic schedule again, with its more limited work time in favor of prayer and community.  I'm learning again to live with another person, and more - I'm learning about accountability to my companions, both the ones I live with and those who live far away.  We made promises together for six months, but that's the easy part.  Now there's learning to live them.

So please pray for Shadow, and for Phoebe, and for all of us.  Good stuff is brewing (more on that later), but it's still hard work to find our new places in God's universe.  Thank you to all who are praying for us!

I'm learning how to add images to the blog.  Here's one I found with Elizabeth, that we will share on our newsletter.  It's true that it's a little too European to be historically authentic, but who knows?  I like the look on her face.  She is serious, but not so inward we can't connect.  She seems open, with important news to share.  That's how I see her.

I don't know how to move images yet.  Let me know if you have ideas for this page.  What would you like to know about?  What does Mary mean to you?