Death and life

Yesterday I went to the closing service for one of my former congregations, Our Saviour Lutheran Church in Cresskill, NJ.  I had the privilege of being their pastor for just over two years, while they were living and worshipping with St. Luke's Episcopal Church, where I was priest-in-charge.  They had allied with St. Luke's because they couldn't keep their buildings and pay their bills.  Somehow we all hoped it would work out, but in the end there were too few people for the huge amount of work facing them.  When I left six months ago I knew they needed to close and move on, but I couldn't make that decision for them.  They have had an agonizing six months, and they closed really well.  The final service was back at their original church, a church I had never served in.  It was wonderful to see them come to closure with grace.  They were able to give several generous legacy gifts, and I hear that the day they made those decisions was a day of joy.  They knew that they were making sure their assets would serve the Gospel - not in the same place, but in many places.

As I sat with them, I thought about how much I learned during my time with them.  I learned, first, about the Evangelical Lutheran Church of America.  I learned by reading, but more by many conversations with parishioners, Bible study groups with clergy, and simply by their life together.  I am so grateful I got stretched in a way unique for priests in our isolated denominations.  I was proud to be the pastor of this wild and crazy blend.

I learned about parish life.  St. Luke's was my first parish after ordination.  I got not only the usual dynamics and issues in a parish, but the unique challenge of blending two cultures on the ground.  I did not do the blending - they were doing that - but I got to be part of the mix.

And I learned about standing at the empty tomb.  I learned to stand at the door and not judge whether I would see death or life.  I learned not to be afraid of parish death, to trust in the Holy Spirit.  I learned that sometimes life looks like death.  I learned to hold my own plans and hopes lightly, to accept life cycles.

Yesterday as I saw people I haven't seen for six months, I realized how much I love these people.  I don't know why that should surprise me, but it did.  I'm so happy in this life we're building here, but it was wonderful to see everyone.  I'm not going to name you - if I leave someone out, you'll be hurt.  But you know, because I got to see you yesterday.  I saw you dying and rising, with tears and with joy.

Thank you, all of you.  Thank you for putting up with a new priest, a new pastor.  Thank you for all your hard work, your prayers, your good will.  You continue in my prayers and thanksgivings every day.  God bless you all!