June 20

June 20

Happy summer solstice to you!  In four days we will celebrate John the Baptist, the polar complement to Jesus.  Traditionally born six months before Jesus, “the light coming into the world,” John is reported to have said, “He must increase, I must decrease.”  From today until Christmas the natural light will grow shorter.

It's a good day to think about the passion of acedia, known to the desert monastics as “the noonday demon.”  The day is long, the work routine.  Isn't there something else I can do?  Maybe I should visit a sick friend.  Maybe I should cheer someone up with a phone call.  Maybe I should cook something, or eat something.  Maybe I should play solitaire, or go for a walk, or surf the Web.  Just please, don't make me sit here!  Don't make me face the ordinariness, the unglamorous task in front of me!

The next several weeks are quiet for me.  I've had some quiet days, and in a week I go for an eight day retreat.  When I come back there's reading and preparing for fall events, but no rush or pressure.  That sort of time can make me uneasy.  Is reading a worthwhile activity?  What sort of reading?  Am I contributing, earning my way, justifying my life?  Others tell me that God wants me to rest and recharge, but I notice they struggle with it too.

And in the next months, as we look for a new place to live, temptations arise.  Where will we make a difference?  Where will we look good, again justifying our common life?  Where can I avoid the hard work of staring into my soul and finding something worth sharing?

Along with the command to flee the world, the first monastics were keen on staying where you are.  Stay, not only in this physical place, but with these people, and above all with yourself.  Stay, and encounter all the emptiness that is filled only by God.

I'm pondering what it means to stay in my life today.  On this longest day, when the sun seems to stop, what am I to do?  I'm doing what there is to do: writing letters of reference, paying bills, blogging.  Later I will cook.  Then I'll go to a county council meeting.  I'll talk to some people who need to talk, and I will reach out myself.  I'll read.  And in all of that, I'll pray.  I'll pray at noon, at 5, after the meeting tonight, as I've prayed twice today with Elizabeth.  I'll pray in the car, and I'm praying now.  

It's nothing big.  It's just the site of our incarnation and our redemption.  Just another day.