Advent Blahs

I seem disconnected from Advent this year.  Some of that may be work pressure - we have two retreats coming up before January 8 - but it's not only that.  I think it has to do with the images of Advent that we invoke in our daily office, images that don't really speak to me.  I think it's a good sign that I'm noticing and naming that gap.  The gap isn't new, but letting it be present and important is.

Our antiphons for psalms all focus on coming of God "in the clouds of heaven," "with all the saints together," "with power and great glory."  The Matins hymn says "the Lamb descends from heaven above."  There's a lot of royal imagery throughout the offices.  I don't know; it may be "gender-neutral," but it's still loaded with images and metaphors that just don't express my faith.

My God comes in vulnerability, in poverty, in humility.   S/he comes gently, tenderly.  The glory is there, but it is not imperial.  It is more like a flashlight than a floodlight.  Or maybe it's like a grow-light, the lights that shine in greenhouses to nurture plants through the darkness.  This is the God I'm looking forward to seeing at Christmas - and today, and every day.  The imperial images are in the way of the glory, overshadowing it so to speak.

Now, many of these antiphons and hymns are ancient and traditional to monastic communities, and I have treasured them as part of that tradition.  But we, the Companions, are not simply passing on tradition in a new, "inclusive" mode.  We are actively questioning the images and language for the divine, and I find the questioning is working - it's messing with my ability to say the find God in the old words.

So, we need to rewrite the antiphons for next year.  Elizabeth agrees.  Our Covenant Companions have spent time discussing incarnation, Jesus, Christ, and I think I can say we all see some room to grow and change here.  In the meantime, I'm reading Daily Prayer for All Seasons on my own, and walking under the stars.  And I know, any day now I'll turn the corner.  Jesus is already here, was and is and is always.  God, open my eyes to see.