Thursday in the First Week

Esther (Apocrypha) 14:1-6,12-14; Psalm 138; Matthew 7:7-12

You will fulfill your purpose for me.  That's a promise, and a plea.

"I'm asking, God.  I'm searching for your purpose, and for the people and places to further it.  Actually I'm pretty darn sure about your purpose for me: my purpose is to proclaim your love and your power, to call people to You, to drink from your well and share it with others.  My purpose is to love.  And I'm clear that the purpose of our community is to do those things together.  And, as the psalmist reminds me, this is not something I just will and do on my own.  You fulfill your purpose for me.  I am one of the people you use to further your purpose, your your dream, your reign.

Within that purpose, God, I have needs and fears and dreams.  I'm asking you to use me, but I'm asking too for what I need to do that.  I'm asking for my human needs to be met.  I have an idea of how that looks right now, but I can't fulfill it on my own.  I'm asking you to do this.

God, we need a house of our own.  We need room to grow.  And we need the money and the people to make that happen.  The people are showing up, and some of the money, but we will need a lot more to make this work.  So I'm asking you.  If this is your purpose for us, fulfill it!  And if by some chance it is not, make that clear to us before we lose everything.  But I think it is your purpose.  So come on, God - fulfill your purpose!"

Have you ever been this direct with God?  I've been taught not to ask for specifics, not to "test God," but Jesus and Esther and a lot of others went ahead and asked.  I think not asking actually comes from doubts about God that we don't want to face.  I won't call it atheism, but it might be the suspicion that God doesn't really have anything to do with life here and now.  

I believe that God is here now, and that the reign of God is something to be experienced here and now.  It is not for after we die.  It is here, now.

When we ask, sometimes the answer is no; but that doesn't mean we shouldn't ask.  Not asking guarantees that our faith won't be answered or deepened.  Better to deepen the relationship, even through frustration and disappointment, than to keep God in a box like a precious relic.

What will you ask for today?