Saturday in the Third Week

Hosea 6:1-6; Psalm 51:15-20; Luke 18:9-14

I like to think that when I "do the right things" I do them out of love.  I like to think that I give out of gratitude for what I've received and trust that God will provide.  But I'm not sure that's the whole story.  Having studied and read a bit, I know that the "right" posture is one of gratitude and trust.  So I try for that, and I ignore the little voices beneath those that say, "I'm a good girl, doing this.  I'm a role model, an inspiration for others.  And how can I advocate for things I don't do myself?  I have to do this."

The truth is that it's all there, all the time.  I do earnestly desire to serve and love God.  And I earnestly desire to be loved, to earn God's love.  And I earnestly desire to look good.

Lord, have mercy on me, a sinner.

The real key to this parable, though, is not whether our hearts are cleansed from self-centered thoughts.  The real key is how we see and treat those around us.

Last Saturday we read the parable of the prodigal son.  Now Luke calls us older brothers back again.  The besetting sin of good girls and boys is self-righteous judgment.  If I tithe and fast and pray, and then look down on others, I've wasted my time and God's.  If I follow all the commandments and then judge others who don't, I gain nothing.  "If I give away everything that I have and hand over my own body to feel good about what I've done but I don't have love, I receive no benefit whatever" (1 Cor. 13:3).

In fact, I may be better off failing now and then.  There's such danger in perfection, in thinking that I can be justified by my own efforts.  "I pulled myself out of poverty, why don't they?"  Why can't they get off drugs, or give more to the church, or vote differently?  Well, because they're different somehow.  They have challenges you didn't, or lack resources that came to you.  But I tell you, if you judge them and reject them, you're wasting the life you've been given.

Lord, have mercy on me, a sinner.  

Today I will remember that I am the prodigal, the tax collector, the woman caught in adultery.  I am the lukewarm one who does just enough.  I am the lowest - I am the one who judges others.

Lord, have mercy on me, a sinner.