Saturday, December 28, 2019

Holy Innocents, Then and Now




Today the Church remembers the infants slaughtered by Herod, and the flight of the Holy Family to Egypt.  It's a grim reminder that the Gospel is not good news to tyrants.  The fear that lives at the heart of tyranny leads to mass destruction and the worst of lives, both for the victims and for the tyrants.  Jesus interrupts the message that domination is the mark of power, opening a door into the power of vulnerability and openness.  Then and now, power lies in following God and the path of love.  On this day, we see the very human cost of refusing this awareness and substituting our own fear for the rich life we are offered in Christ.

And, as we hear that awful story, we pray for the victims of tyranny today.  We pray for the children sacrificed to the greed and hatred of contemporary "rulers."  We pray for those who grow up in trash heaps, in detention centers, in refugee camps, in hellish "homes."  We pray for those who are separated from their parents by a border or a prison fence; we pray for those sacrificed to someone else's idea of sexual or gender purity; those who are targeted for "ethnic cleansing" or "re-education."

And we pray for the perpetrators of these crimes.  We pray for legislators and for those who enforce the laws they make.  We pray for those who vote for people who would lock up or execute those whose offense is poverty or racial difference.  We pray for ourselves, when we fail to protest.  I pray for myself, for my weak and comfortable heart.  I pray God to announce to the tyrant in me that God is with the poor, the powerless, the forgotten and rejected.  And I pray to respond, not as Herod did, killing the messenger to silence the message, but with courage and compassion.

Some of my Companions are doing this work.  Together we all struggle with how to respond in our own way.  Please pray with me, with us, that we all may be bearers of the good news.

Friday, December 20, 2019

Not My Jesus: A Heretical Rant




We have been reading Matthew's Gospel for months at Vespers, and this week we come to the end before the passion.  Each day we hear another parable of the coming judgment.  We've had the parable of the wicked tenants, the parable of the wedding banquet, the parable of the wicked slave, the parable of the bridesmaids.  Tonight is the parable of the talents (Mt 25:14-31).  Over and over, we hear that people will be thrown into the outer darkness, put to a miserable death, cut in pieces.

Last night was the last straw for me.  The foolish bridesmaids will be locked out of the kingdom.  They missed their only chance.  The bridegroom refuses to know them.

I'm sorry, this is not the God I know.  It's not the Jesus I follow.  The God I know pays the late laborers as much as the early ones; loves the lost; welcomes prodigals.  I believe that Jesus knew that God, and tried to teach the rest of us.  But Matthew missed that lesson.

Now, this is so important because for centuries Matthew was the primary Gospel, the one read in church on Sundays (which meant, for most people, the only one they knew).  His message is great for scaring people into behaving, which served the needs of an imperial Church, but it's not a message for lovers and seekers.  It is a message of hatred and fear cloaked as something else.

I know that's not all that's in Matthew's Gospel.  But there's a lot of it.  And it is toxic.  It deforms those who believe its message, and it perverts the public image of Christianity.  When religious bigots picket, threaten, condemn those they consider sinners, and do it in the name of Jesus, people who are hungry for the love of God decide that they won't find it among the followers of Jesus.

Among the Companions this is a live issue.  We run into this regularly, talking with people who can't believe in the God they were raised to believe in.  They wonder how we can be Christians, since we don't share the politics and ethics of those more visible types.  Maybe you encounter this too.

All I can do is say, That is not my God!  That is not my Jesus!  Matthew had an agenda (as did the other writers, don't get me wrong).  He saw through a glass darkly.  There are other messages in the Scripture, just as "canonical," that counter these threats.

Yes, there's a truth there: we can go to the outer darkness.  But we go there, God doesn't send us.  When we live with hate in our hearts, even (or especially) hatred masquerading as piety, we are in the outer darkness.  When we live in fear of God, we are locked out of the banquet.  But we cast ourselves out - God is waiting for us to find our way in.  God will welcome us.

So what if your oil is low and you're late?  We're so glad you got here!  Have a plate.  Let's dance.  A baby is being born.

Saturday, December 14, 2019

Companions

Today our Companions online community will gather for a three-hour mini-retreat.  We have each been invited to choose a favorite annunciation/visitation passage, and to share a short meditation on it with the group.  Then we are each sharing what we need to say yes to, and what we need to say no to in order for the yes to be realized.  And then, how can the community support each of us in those yeses and nos?

As always, I'm moved by the power of community to help us each become more than we can ask or imagine.  I know that without my many communities of practice and ministry I'd be a lump on the couch.  I need all of them, all of you.  Thank God for you all.

I'm looking forward to hearing what my companions have to say.  It makes me curious about you all, too.  What's your favorite passage about the coming of Jesus as an infant?  Why?  And what yes, what no do you need to say this season and this coming year?  Who will support you in that?  Let me know.




Wednesday, December 11, 2019

Weary? Rest in Heaven



Today's Eucharistic readings (Isaiah 40:25-31; Matthew 11:28-30( are like a tonic, healing whatever is aching in me.  Together they invite me to be renewed.

Isaiah tells us that "those who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint."  Then Matthew presents Jesus' invitation: "Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."

These are delightful promises of rest and renewal.  But as I sit with them, I'm aware that neither of them promises an end to the work.  The burden may be light, but there's a yoke and a burden.  We may be renewed, but we will continue to go forward.  So this is not a promise of the end of growth, or movement, or progress.  It's a promise, I think, of another kind of growth.

I spend much of my life striving.  My spiritual director calls it "efforting."  I put my shoulder to the plow - and if there's no plow available, I will build one!  I have plowed through much of my life, until exhaustion hits and I have to stop and rest.  I've done a lot, but that's not really the point of life.  If I want to know God, I need to stop the striving.  I need to let God in.

This easy yoke is the yoke of patient trust, of gentleness.  It's the yoke of living in the present even while doing work that carries us forward.  It's the "burden" of following where God calls, at God's pace - a much lighter burden than those we often put on ourselves and one another.  This yoke, this burden, is sustainable.  We can be renewed even as we continue.

In the convent of St. John Baptist in New Jersey there's an illuminated calligraphy that says "In Coelo Quies" - Rest in Heaven.  Now, you can take that to mean we should work our tails off and rest after we die, but I always thought it meant I should rest in God's world while doing the work here.  At least, that's what I took as its wisdom.  I think that's what Isaiah and Matthew are getting at.

Today, rest in heaven.  Ask God to lead you.  Let Jesus use you, gently and humbly.  Give thanks for the love that reaches to renew us.


Sunday, December 8, 2019

Prepare the Way





Today is the first of two Sundays of Advent devoted to John the Baptist.  I find myself really frustrated this year by the absence of Mary.  Two weeks of John, every year, and no week that is specifically devoted to Mary.  Yes, it's important to include Joseph, and I'm glad we're doing that, but out of twelve Sundays over three years, Mary appears in only two of them.  John in six.  Our theme is preparing the way, getting ready for God to come in our midst.  I think Mary has a place in that.  Oh well.

So: how do we prepare the way?  Yesterday we had a retreat around the theme of "making space for grace."  At one point I was describing how we can clean our spiritual house, we can name our liabilities or defects and ask God to remove them, but in the end God may have another agenda.  We may find ourselves with the same shortcomings that bother us, while God has removed or transformed something that wasn't on our list!  Our job is to make space for grace, not to engage in self-improvement.

A participant looked at me and said she was just floored by this.  God may not remove the things I want removed?  After I've looked at myself and named this stuff, I have to leave open the possibility that God isn't bothered by what bothers me?  It is mind-blowing.

So today I think about John's call to prepare the way of the Lord.  Make "his" paths straight.  Don't get confused; it's not your own way you're preparing, it's not your own path you're grooming.  You do your part, but in the end it's the Holy One walking this road.  S/he walks it in you, as you, and as all of creation.  But S/he's not the "you" that does the preparing; that ego-self can only go so far.  That's important to remember.

Prepare the way.  Sit and listen.  Respond to what you hear.  Let yourself be led, and let yourself be surprised.  God be with you.

Thursday, December 5, 2019

Simple, But Not Easy




Today's Eucharistic Gospel reading is Matthew 7:21-27.  Here he compares those who "hear these words and do them" to a wise man building his house on rock.  Those who hear but don't do them are headed for destruction.  So my first question was, "What words is he talking about?"

This passage is the ending to the Sermon on the Mount.  Jesus has been teaching for three chapters about how to live, how to pray, what to value.  Many of the teachings are inspiring and uplifting: "Do to others as you would have them do to you"; "Don't worry about tomorrow"; the Lord's Prayer.  But many are disturbing and challenging, to the point where we have decided as churches and as cultures to ignore them: no divorce except for adultery, no adultery for that matter, fasting, not retaliating or harboring anger, loving our enemies.  Matthew doesn't separate some of these out and make them optional.  All of these, according to Matthew, are Jesus' "words."

So: are you ready for Advent?  Are you ready to meet God again, in the flesh?
Are you ready to meet God in the annoying neighbor, the bully, the political opponent, the unwashed homeless person, the panhandler?
Are you ready to meet God as the one who wants to forgive you for your failures, who forgives you your anger, your annoyingness, your rudeness or disdain?  Are you ready to start again?

I could avoid all this by explaining how some of these prescriptions were shaped by Jesus' society, a society radically different from ours.  I could say that some of these just aren't realistic.  And they aren't.  They fly directly in the face of my primitive survival instinct, my "realistic" fears and desires. But I do believe that Jesus said them and meant them.  So I'm in a hard place.

I can do my best to build my house on rock, but I'm pretty sure I've got too much sand in it for it to stand really firm.  My only hope is to do my best and trust in God's mercy to show me how to do better.  Lord, have mercy on me, a sinner.

Monday, December 2, 2019

Worthy?

I'm inspired to write a bit more during Advent.  Because of technical difficulties with Blogger I may not post everything I write, but I'm grateful for the desire to reflect.

Today the reading for daily Eucharist is Matthew 8:5-13.  The centurion tells Jesus not to bother coming to his house to heal his servant; he trusts that he can heal him wherever he is.  It's an interesting choice to begin Advent.  Why did the framers of the lectionary choose this?  I don't know, really.  But I have the freedom to discover meaning for myself, so I'm pondering.

What strikes me is the centurion's phrase, "I am not worthy to have you come under my roof."  This is used in the Roman Catholic Mass just before receiving communion.   For some it is humbling, an acknowledgement of grace; for others, it lands as humiliating and punishing.  And I wonder, what is it doing here, in Advent?

I think for me the point today is that worthiness is not the point.  Jesus does not heal the servant because the centurion is worthy, or because the servant is worthy.  He does not heal the servant because the centurion expresses his unworthiness.  We may think he heals him because of his great faith, and I think that's Matthew's point.  But for me, today, I hear that Jesus comes because we need him, and because he loves.

Jesus is coming into a world torn by evil, shredded by sin, yet a world full of desire for the good.  Jesus doesn't come because we're worthy, and he won't stay away because we aren't.  If that were so, he would never have been born, for the world has always been what it is.  No, Jesus came because we need him, and because he loves.  He is coming again for the same reason.

So today, perhaps you might begin Advent by asking Jesus for whatever healing you need.  It doesn't have to be dire; it may be as simple as annoyance with a neighbor.  It could be those feelings of unworthiness that paralyze people and keep them from sharing their gifts.  It could be anything.  What in you needs healing?

Blessed Advent to you!

Thursday, November 21, 2019

When You Hear Rumors . . .

Our Sunday Scriptures these last weeks of the season include warnings about the time that is to come, when structures collapse and the natural world seems bent on chaos.  Jesus tells the disciples not to panic, not to believe those who tell them they know the meaning of these events.  But he also makes clear that they mean something.

How appropriate for the month we are having at the Companionary!  Since midnight of November 1, we've seen a torrent of "signs."  Here's a recap:
November 1 - we lost power for 36 hours; internet down for a week.
November 12 - our annual mailing was moving along when the Excel file scrambled all the data, had to be redone.
November 12 - Elizabeth was in a car accident with our new (used) car; she's alright, the car needs help.  No collision insurance.
November 16 - our cat falls sick, goes off to the animal emergency room.  She seems fine now.  Mostly a response to stress!
November 14-21:  the reserve tank from the well starts to struggle.  We schedule the installation of a new tank.  But overnight last night the tank (or the pump) failed entirely.  Plumbers coming later today.  Hoping it's just the tank!

So that's the "woes."  But there are blessings, some of which also can throw me off balance:
November 20 - new windows in the outer office where I (Shane) work and see people.  Chaos, but a wonderful result.
New members are joining the covenant group.
I'm leading one of my favorite groups on retreat this weekend.  I may not be ready, but they will carry it for me.

In the meantime we are preaching and presiding, leading retreats, and seeing people for direction.  And here are some of the blessings:
We've always had a way to see people.  Our neighbors at Holy Cross Monastery kept us warm, accessible, and hydrated.
Each of these could have been much worse!!!
We haven't blown up or gone into a tailspin; we keep laughing.

Now, I don't believe that God sent us these events.  (Maybe the stars, but not God.). But I do believe that God opens doors for us to grow if we choose.  I do believe that resilience is a gift from God.  I do believe that friends and resources are gifts, not of my own deserving or planning.  I do believe that choosing to look for grace in the midst of chaos is my part in the dance.

So: these may not be "the end times," but every day can be the end and the beginning.  We've had so many openings this month, so many chances to see beyond what is crumbling to a greater grace.  I'm confident that this coming year will be full of growth and new awakening.  I hope I get to experience it with heat, water, food, and friends; but I'll take it either way.  What choice do I have?

If you are struggling this month (and I've heard that many people are), know that you are not alone.  And while God may not be "teaching you a lesson," I believe that God is available for instruction and renewal at any time.  Grab it.  If you need help hanging on, reach out.  And wait for December!

Tuesday, October 29, 2019

Sermon October 27, Proper 25C

I want to talk about humility.

Humility has a hard time of it in our culture. 
In the wider American culture, we hear about the importance of standing up for ourselves, for self-esteem.  We get an implicit message to look out for number one, and we can hear a lot of scorn for those who don’t measure up.  American culture seems to be built on the idea of exalting ourselves, moving up the ladder, standing out.  And we Americans have a long history of comparing ourselves to other countries and saying, “I thank you, God, that we are not like those others.  We have freedom and democracy; we have the biggest economy in the world; our sports teams are the best.”

In church, on the other hand, we hear that we should be humble, but that often gets translated to mean we should think of ourselves as worse than others, less deserving, less important.   Too often it becomes a prescription for letting ourselves be abused, for hiding our gifts, for putting our light under a basket.

I don’t think either of these options is quite what Jesus had in mind in this parable.  And I don’t think either of them gets at the power and grace of humility.

The Pharisee has a lot to be grateful for.  He abides by the law, he gives to God what is prescribed.  But he makes two mistakes.  First, Luke suggests that he thinks he’s done this himself.  Now, Luke may be wrong here; the Pharisee does indeed thank God for letting him be this way.   But the second mistake is clear.  

He doesn’t give thanks for doing what is prescribed, or for the richness of his life.  He compares himself to others, judging them less than himself.  That’s the nub of it.  It he had just said, “God, I thank you for making me someone who does these things,”  that might be simple gratitude.  But when he turns his eye toward his neighbor, when he compares, he’s turned his vision from God.

Notice that the tax collector doesn’t say he’s worse than others.  He doesn’t say, “Lord, have mercy on me, the worst sinner in town.”  His sin is enough for him.  He’s talking to God, he’s looking at God with both eyes.  He’s not worrying about anyone else.  He’s not comparing.

Comparison is always dangerous.  If I compare myself to you, I lose.  If I find that you’re better than I am, I despair.  If I find that I’m better, I’ve lost touch with you.  Either way I lose.

God’s question is never, how do you compare to others?  It’s not, what is your class rank?
God’s question is, are you being who I made you to be?  Are you doing what I called you to do?

Each of us is unique.  Each of us is bundle of traits and capacities, frailties and strengths.  We each have plenty to work on, and plenty to work with.  My sins are my own, as are my gifts.

Humility means seeing myself as I am.  It means honest assessment.  It means contrition when I fall short, and thanksgiving when I grow and thrive.  There’s no place in there for comparison.

The earliest Christians understood that Jesus came to show us how to be human and divine, to be what God intended.  This didn’t mean arrogance; it meant gratitude and wonder.  Paul gives us an example of this in his letter.  He has fought the good fight, and he trusts that he will receive the crown of righteousness.  But he is not the center of the story.  He gives glory to God for his stamina and faithfulness.

Now, Paul may seem a strange example of humility.  He does indeed spend time comparing himself to other apostles and missionaries, and he can boast with the best of them.  He’s an imperfect vessel, like the rest of us.  But at his best, he knows that everything he has done is through God’s spirit.  His aim is to leave communities devoted, not to Paul, but to God in Christ.

That should be our aim as well.  In our lives, in our churches and in our work and family life, we are called to be all that we can be; to be the glory of God, as human beings fully alive.  We are called to testify to the power working in our lives.  That has nothing to do with my list of achievements or worthy tasks, though they may result from it.  It has to do with the quality of my being, the state of my soul.

When I am really trying to live in this way, I continually trip over the places where I fail.  My prayer life grows stale, I work too hard, I get grumpy and rude and impatient.  I try to run the show, and the next thing you know I’m running over the people around me.  Then I have to turn and ask for mercy.  I need to get on my knees and cry and say, “Lord, help me.”

I wonder what happens after the two men finish their prayers.  The Pharisee has already lost his connection, but what about the tax collector?  Jesus says he is justified, but there’s more to Christian life than justification.  What we call sanctification, growing into the full stature of Christ, means turning from our sin and trying to amend our ways.  Does the tax collector change his ways?

Humility doesn’t mean justifying my weakness, my repeated failures to change my ways.  That’s not humility; that’s a subtle form of lazy pride.  Jesus doesn’t give us a free pass.  Over and over, after he forgives and heals people, he says, “Go and sin no more.”  That’s the road ahead of us.

Wherever you are in your life and your relationship with God, honest assessment is essential.  Humility means facing the truth, good and bad, and asking for mercy and strength.  Then it means turning from focussing on your sins and aiming at serving and contributing to the world around you.  It means letting yourself be poured out as a libation, an offering to God, and rejoicing at what God is up to.



To God be the glory forever and ever.   Amen.

Friday, October 25, 2019

Try, Try Again

In the name of honesty, I have to come clean. After writing yesterday I managed two 15-minute walks, but otherwise kept my whole schedule - from 6 in the morning until 8 last night. Sigh. I am a productivity addict.
But God came to my rescue today. I had another full day planned - sermon and newsletter in the morning, spiritual direction all afternoon. And I had not slept well. So: neither of my direction appointments made it! Different reasons, but one thread. 
Now, I could have "made use" of that time to do things on my list. But I felt rotten, my cold is lingering - so I read, then watched a short documentary on PBS. Now I plan to watch more. So there. Take that, superego!

Thursday, October 24, 2019

What Would Happen?

Hello there,

I had plans for this morning, things to do.  And plans for the afternoon and evening.  I'm not "good" with plans; I'm drenched in them, addicted to them.  My plan cup overflows.  But I had to write about this.

I'm a big fan of the Enneagram as a way to grow in my relationship with God and others and myself.  (If you don't know the Enneagram, you can start here:https://www.enneagraminstitute.com.  For now, go to the next paragraph.). I'm a One, which means I love order and "rightness"; I have control issues.  I tend to work too hard.  (See above.)

Each day I get a "daily Enneathought" from the Enneagram Institute, cued to my type.  Now, I've been working on my working (!!) for a while, trying to let go and relax, make more space - to no avail.  But today the sun was out, it's beautiful, I can't stand the thought of being inside all day.  I looked for a little space.

Then I got my Enneathought in my email. "As the seasons change, why don't you try something different, too?  What would happen if you put aside your schedule and did something spontaneous and fun with someone you love?"  Very funny, God.

First thought: "The world would come crashing down."
Simultaneous first thought: "That's just what I was thinking!"

So one spontaneous thing is to write all of you.  It is often fun, and slides to the bottom of my list.
But I will then leave my desk and go for a walk with Jesus, and with the beauty all around me.

What about you?  Elizabeth got a different, but related message.  (She's a Six.)  It seems to be the question for the day.
What would happen?  What would you do if you weren't afraid, or obligated, or otherwise bunched up?
Go do it.  Take Jesus with you.  Enjoy!


Thursday, October 10, 2019

In the light of Justice

Today we are praying with our Companions in Nebraska who will join in a prayer vigil to end the death penalty.  This is the passion project of Kaity Reece, one of our covenant group members, and she will be joined there by Dario Ghersi, a Covenant Companion.  They are in Tecumseh Nebraska, the site of the state Death Row.

If you'd like more details, click on this link:
https://www.episcopal-ne.org/calendar.html

And please pray.  They will begin at 12 noon central time, and pray until 6.

Pray for healing: for the families of the victims, for the families of those convicted, and for those condemned to die.  Pray for an end to the cycle of violence that leads to killing, both state-sanctioned and state-condemned.  Pray for peace and justice, in our hearts and minds - for without that, we will not find them in our world.

Amen.

Sunday, August 11, 2019

Apologies!




I just realized, after a week, that I hadn’t been posting here.  I post the same items on Facebook, and just forgot to come over here!  I hope you’ve been aware of your gratitude without me.

Today I’m grateful for our new car, donated by my friend Mark, and for all the people who helped to get it here from California.
I’m grateful for a wonderful meeting, for time with Lauren, for my spiritual direction ministry.

For what are you grateful today?

Saturday, August 3, 2019

Gratitude is the Key




Hi everyone,

We had a great conversation the other night about the Second Love in our Community Covenant, love of creation.  Each "love" has a general statement followed by some specific commitments we aim at to give flesh to the love.  The second love begins with cultivating gratitude, and only then moves toward the various forms of caring for the created world.

As we talked, I got how inspired that order is.  I need to start from gratitude for what I have if I am to accept that I have enough.  I need to notice how much I have, how my needs are met, in order to make room to make choices that cost more in time and money.  So gratitude is really the key to sustained action.

Without gratitude, commitments like buying organic or composting or not buying certain things can just sound like deprivation.  The old Christian messages of renunciation are waiting to beat myself up with, or to flee.  But gratitude gives me a different starting place, so I can choose with confidence and freedom.

I make a gratitude list every day.  It doesn't take long, but it's a good way to start the day.  So for this month, I'm going to try to share with you each day some of the things I'm grateful for.  I'd love to hear your gratitudes in response.  If I'm away some days, please feel free to fill in the gap!

Today I'm grateful for Shadow, our cat, running across the lawn and up a tree in play.
I'm grateful for the breeze blowing through the warm day.
I'm grateful for my ministry of spiritual direction, and for my directees.
I'm grateful for all of you who read and respond and pray and minister where you are.

That's a start.
Enjoy your day!

Wednesday, July 31, 2019

Breakthrough




Wow.  Where do I start?

The last few months have felt like a bit of breakdown, but I believed that they were the signs of transition to a new place.  There's never a breakthrough without a breakdown, and most breakthroughs feel like breakdowns at first.  And so it is proving.

I had been a bit more lethargic and distracted than usual, less organized around Companions' business.  You may have noticed I was writing less.  I felt called to deepen my own prayer and study, but the cost felt like letting down my community (including those who read us online).

Last week we had the annual Companions retreat, and I saw the breakthrough.  My letting go is allowing newer members to contribute, to take their place in the center and use their gifts.  My job is to trust them without abandoning the vision and charism that have been given to us.  But I no longer need to hoard this like an anxious mother.  Needing to grow in my own way has made me open to letting others grow, for their benefit and that of the whole community.

So what am I supposed to do, if I'm not managing all sorts of things I once did?  They were quite clear.  I'm supposed to pray, to listen to people and help them pray, to speak and write as I feel called. That still stuns me - especially the prayer part.  Do people actually value my prayer - not only my intercessory prayer, but simply the time I spend with God?  Apparently yes.  That is humbling and challenging.

I don't know what difference this will make for you who read this.  Over time the website will improve, our media presence will improve.  Other changes may not be visible to you.  But I want you to know: something is happening here.  God is at work.

And I want you to trust.  If you are in a period of breakdown, there's a new land waiting to open up to you.  Just like Mary at the tomb, it will look strange and scary for a while.  Then it will carry you to proclaim the news of new life.  You can't rush this.  But trust; and pray.  You can always ask me to pray for you!

Wednesday, May 22, 2019

Lonely turkeys



I am haunted by a turkey.

We have a flock of wild turkeys that lives in the woods around the Companionary.  During the spring mating season I counted 29 of them one day.  Soon after, one lone tom separated from the flock.  He's been hanging around our place, and the surrounding woods, gobbling day after day for weeks.

At first I laughed, delighted that this turkey was here.  But now I'm haunted.  This poor turkey is gobbling to find a mate, or a flock.  This turkey is lonely.  This turkey needs community.

I asked myself, why does this touch me so?  This turkey's call for community reminds me of our need for community as well.  I get to meet a lot of people who want to share their lives, their passion for God, their love with others, but either don't feel called to monastic life or just don't dare or just can't find a place where they fit.  And they haunt me too.  We all need companions, we all need to be part of a flock - even a virtual one.

Sometimes Jesus calls us his sheep.  Sometimes he compares himself to a mother hen sheltering her flock.  Sometimes, as today at Eucharist, he talks about being the vine.  These are all different ways of expressing this truth - we belong together, rooted in and guided by the voice of love.  Turkeys, people (and who among us hasn't been a turkey sometimes?) - we need to belong.

I have been a lonely turkey for long stretches of my life.  I give thanks every day for this community, for all the communities that I now belong to.  My song is no longer the gobble of the lost and alone, but the crow of the delighted proclaimer.  But on any given day, I might be gobbling again.  I need all of you.

My prayer for you today is that you know you belong in Jesus' flock, in God's flock, even if you don't have face-to-face community.  I pray that you know the love that surrounds you, and find your way to a flock that reflects that love and lets you love in return.  God bless you and fill you with peace.

Thursday, May 16, 2019

Hail Mary




Last weekend I led a retreat on Mother Mary.  I had been reading, praying, preparing for nine months.  (Isn't that an interesting number!)  The day came, the weekend flew, and I was left exhausted and a bit overwhelmed.  The stories that people told were amazing: stories of times Mary had healed them or others, stories of their own pain and grief, stories of faith and trust.  As much as I had prepared, I wasn't prepared for the reality of Mary in the lives of these people.  They taught me how much further I have to go, want to go, to know this woman.

I realized that, as much as I've spent my life in feminist studies, and then in a convent, and then devoted to Mary Magdalene, there are still depths of feminine energy that I have not accessed.  This shouldn't be news to me; there are depths to God, to Jesus, to the Holy Spirit that I haven't approached.  But it really landed for me that there is so much more to Mary than I have let in.  I'm still shaped by my Protestant, left-brain heritage.  But I want to let go more, and I think Mary will show me the way.

So I'm continuing to pray the rosary, and to spend time with icons of Mary, and maybe I'll keep reading.  But the deep work will come from the prayer, from music and art and dance.  I will lead the retreat again in the fall of 2020, but I don't need to prepare to lead as much as I need to learn from her what she means.

Hail Mary, full of grace.  Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb, Jesus.  Thank you for showing yourself to so many, and for giving me a glimpse of you.  Help me know you more in the coming days.  And yes, please pray for me, for those most ignored and rejected, for us all.  Amen.





Wednesday, May 1, 2019

Again? Still?



I keep thinking about this series of appearances that Jesus makes.  This coming Sunday we will have another; I'll get to that one on Sunday.  But it's kept me thinking about the earlier ones.  As I pray with Jesus I get a fuller, less orthodox picture of his response.

First he sends the women.  The men don't believe them.  OK.  Nothing shocking about that; even if we leave out patriarchy, I might find it hard to believe.  But then Jesus appears to the gathered disciples (who likely included women).  Now many of them, probably more than a dozen, have seen and talked with him.  But Thomas won't believe them.  So Jesus comes again.  And here's where it gets tricky.

The written text doesn't give us mood or tone.  All we have are the words, so we are free to project our own feelings and hopes and fears onto the text.  How do you imagine Jesus answering?

I've usually seen him as patient and loving.  I hate the move to scapegoat Thomas, so I want Jesus to save him from us.  But yesterday, sitting with Jesus in the chapel, I saw another scene.  I saw Jesus frustrated and impatient.  "OK, you won't believe your companions?  Fine.  Just stick your finger there, buddy.  How do you like them apples?"
"Go ahead.  How many times do I have to go through this?  I need you to believe, to tell others.  I didn't just rise from the dead for my health.  I am trying to save the world here, trying to show you something.  So get with the program!"

Who is to say that this version isn't faithful to the original?  We know Jesus got frustrated and upset sometimes.  The Jesus I know isn't always serene.  Sometimes he's in the Temple of my heart, overturning all the tables.  Sometimes he's crying over the ways I hurt and endanger myself and others.  And sometimes he laughs at me, with me.

Spend some time with Jesus this week, with this Gospel passage (John 20:24-29).  What is he saying to you this Easter season?  How is he saying it?

Have fun!

Saturday, April 27, 2019

Blessed Belief



This Sunday we hear the story of Thomas, who needed to touch to believe.  I'll leave aside all the caveats about 'doubting Thomas.'  I've been pondering Jesus' words to him, "Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have come to believe."

It's always sounded harsh to me, judgmental, like Jesus is ranking some disciples above others or warning us to believe no matter what.  But today I see that he doesn't say that those who believe without seeing are better; he says they're blessed.  They're happy (makarios).  They've got onto something good.  And that I can get on board with.

God loves me whether I believe in God or not.  Jesus loves me whether or not I believe in the resurrection, or believe he is my Savior, or any of the other clauses of the catechisms we learn.  No, that's not what's at stake here.

What's at stake is my joy in knowing God in Jesus, in knowing that love that never dies, in accessing the crazy power of resurrection.  If I can believe in that and live my life from that, I'm blessed.  If I demand proof before I let myself live from there, I'm cut off from a source of joy beyond my wildest dreams.

Jesus' whole life and death are a testimony to the power of crazy love.  Nothing about his story makes sense.  If it did, it would just be an interesting story.  It's precisely because it exceeds sense that we look up and notice the world in new ways.  And that is a blessing.

So go ahead and doubt.  Great faith includes great doubt.  And then jump in, past the doubt, to the love.  Be blessed.  Alleluia!

Thursday, April 18, 2019

One Body


Today we remember Jesus’ last supper with the disciples, and his prayer that we all be one.  We read Paul’s reminder that as we eat and drink of one bread and cup we are united in Christ.

I am feeling the distance between our Companions today.  I am thrilled that technology enables us to see one another regularly and be together, today I want us all in one room.  I’m grateful that when Ernesto leads his congregation tonight we will be there with him, when Annie and Dario and Diane take their places at the feast we will be there in spirit, that when Lauren prays alone she knows we pray with her.  But I want more.  I want to be in that upper room with them, with our Covenant Group members, with our Coffee Table Communion friends.  I long for that.

So I will remember today, tonight, as I share in food and worship with new friends where I am, that we are all one in the body and blood.  I will be praying for you who read this, that you know you are part of the body of Christ.  And I will be praying that Jesus’ prayer be answered, that we all  become one.  

Jesus also spent some serious time alone beginning on this day.  We live our lives in the tension between being together and alone.  Both are true.  We are alone, unique and separate.  And we are one, part of one creation.  We can escape neither truth.  We are called to live in that both/and mystery.

If you are alone tonight, or with others who do not “discern the body and blood,” know that I am with you in prayer and in spirit.  May you be blessed tonight, and throughout these three days.

Monday, April 15, 2019

Scandalous Love



Holy Week begins.  Usually Mondays are Sabbath days for us at the Companionary, meaning that we don't have scheduled prayer and work times.  We relax and let life flow a bit more.  But during Holy Week we know we need to pray together - we want to pray together.  So we had a late Matins and Eucharist, before moving on with the day.  We read again of Mary's gift to Jesus (John 12:1-8).  The gift, I see, is not only the gift of costly ointment.  It is the gift of herself.  To anoint his feet and dry them with her hair is enormously intimate; something to be done only in extreme private between family members.  Mary lays herself open to scandal here to express her devotion and grief.

As we head into the these great days.  I wonder about the scandal.  Paul refers to the scandal of the cross - literally, a stumbling block (1 Cor. 1:23).  But over the years, what had been a scandalous faith became the routine mark of citizenship in the imperial Church.  Jesus and the cross became respectable.  The scandal was when someone questioned dogma or practice.  Often, those who scandalized others were precisely the ones, like Mary, whose devotion was too big and too flamboyant for an institution to contain.  Monks (male and female), virgins, hermits, "heretics" - most of those we now celebrate expressed their devotion in ways we would not allow in our churches today.

So I wonder: where's the scandalous faith that lives in you?  Where's my scandalous faith?  When the Companions started we might have seemed scandalously risk-taking, but now we're kind of comfortable.  We dress respectably, and when we worship "outside the lines" we do so in the privacy of the Companionary, or alone.  But in my heart the scandal burns.

I want to love Jesus like Mary does.  I don't mean I want to provoke scandal for the sake of scandal.  I want to sit and find, in my soul, what needs expressing - and then to express it.  I don't want to worry about whether it's coloring in the lines or not - I just want to know it's true for me, as deep as I can go.

This week we will go to Trinity Retreat Center.  Most of the action will be organized by others.  I will sit.  I may drum or chant or dance in the rain.  I may cry at inopportune times.  I may laugh too.  I don't know.  But I know there's more in me than some liturgies, however beautiful they may be.  I pray to find and express it this week.  Jesus, I love you.

Saturday, March 30, 2019

More Prodigal Thoughts



This image can be found here

Still on Luke 15:11-32.

I've been thinking a lot about the older brother these past few days.  It seems to me that he is as lost as his brother, though in a different way.

The younger brother took his inheritance, left home, squandered the inheritance, and ended up as someone's hired hand.  He "hit bottom," as we say in 12-Step language, and he turned back.  He didn't expect much, but he knew he had made a wrong turn.

The older brother, on the other hand. stayed on the farm.  He "worked like a slave," and "never disobeyed" a command.  In fact, he left home too; he didn't recognize himself as the heir, the beloved child of the father.  He thought he needed to be a slave.  He has squandered his inheritance, and made himself a hired hand.

Paul tells the Galatians that they have been adopted by God: "So you are no longer a slave but a child, and if a child then also an heir, through God" (Gal. 4:7).  He is urging them not to return to the economy of servitude, of debts and payments and rules that earn merit.  "You were called to freedom, brothers and sisters" (5:13); don't waste it!  Celebrate.

There's more than one way to waste God's love.  We can walk away in defiance, but the subtler (and probably more common) way is to insist on earning what God wants to give us in grace.  Such a posture works well for institutions that feed on feelings of guilt or duty, but it's not what Jesus came to bring us.

In my life I've been both brothers.  Both of them have a lot to learn.  I think the older brother has the harder task, because all around him people applaud his earnest service.  But the real inheritance eludes us as long as we think about earning.  The gift of God is infinitely greater than any wages.

And the goat?  That goat is yours anytime you ask.  It's up to you to go get it.  You are free.

Are you trying to earn God's love?  Let go.  Let God love you.  Enjoy the party!

Thursday, March 28, 2019

Prodigal Thoughts, part 1



I am seized by the readings for this coming Sunday.  We have the story of the Prodigal (Luke 15), and  the Epistle (2 Cor. 5:16-21) that is also appointed for the feast of Mary Magdalene (who knew a thing or two about prodigal love).  The themes and messages are too much for one sermon, or one blog post.  I'll see when it's time to stop!

One path I'm thinking about is the nature of righteousness.  "For our sake he (sic) made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God: (2 Cor. 5:21).  OK, so setting aside the question of how Jesus was "made to be sin," let's think about the righteousness of God.  What is that righteousness like?

It's clearly not like the righteousness of the older brother.  He has indeed followed the law, done his duty.  He certainly thinks he's been righteous.  And I think a lot of people would agree with him, and would feel just as he does when his ne'er-do-well brother returns to a big welcome.  If righteousness is about obeying the commandments, he's entirely in the right and his father owes him an apology.

But the father has another idea, and God has another righteousness.  It seems that the righteousness of God is about welcome, about forgiveness.  In Christ "there is a new creation."  Now, some people would distinguish reconciliation from forgiveness (maybe that's for another day), but the father in the story is clearly not waiting for the son to admit his faults.  He's just glad he's back.  He has already forgiven him.

We often distinguish righteousness from self-righteousness, and that's one way to approach it in our lives.  But the righteousness of God has no counterpart of self-righteousness.  Letting go of self is part of God's righteousness.  God is not standing at the door waiting for us to confess and measure up.  We need to confess in order to find the courage to enter the door, not in order to appease God.  God has the door open all the time.

So today, I'm basking in the righteousness of God.  Paul says that in Christ we might become that righteousness.  That's another huge idea, for another day.  Today I'll just take in this little part.

Come home.  All is forgiven.



P.S. Our monthly newsletter comes out on Saturday, with more on reading this story.  Tune in then!
If you want to subscribe, send an email to companionsma@gmail.com.

Monday, March 18, 2019

Under the Wings



Just a word about the Gospel for yesterday, Sunday.  I love this passage more each time I read it.  Jesus is the mother hen, who loves us and will die in order to save us.  We don't have the sense to get in under the wings most of the time; we think we know what to do, so we run around and get picked off by foxes and other predators, in our own hearts as well as "outside."  Jesus calls us, and grieves when we run the other way.

When will we let go of the idea that Lent is a time of sadness and grief?  It begins that way, but each week we are reminded instead of God's overwhelming love for us.  We may read God as angry, we may project our anger onto Her, but She is waiting with open arms and big wings.

Spend some time this week visualizing those wings embracing you.  Whatever storms and dangers are out there for you, take refuge under the wings.  God is crazy about you.


Thursday, March 14, 2019

Give Me Lent!

A week after Ash Wednesday, Lent is starting to sink into me - or I'm sinking into Lent.  And this is a gift.

Benedict says that the monk's life should be a perpetual Lent.  He doesn't mean (only) the deprivations or disciplines we associate with Lent.  He includes that, but the real point is that the monastic life is aimed at conversion of life.  This is a continual journey, not a destination we reach in our lifetimes.  Lent is a time when all Christians are reminded of this call to conversion and intentional seeking after God, laying aside whatever stands between us and God.

We don't have to wait for Lent.  We don't have to be monastics to live that life all year round.  But monastics also don't get a pass from Lent: "I'm already doing all that one might do in Lent."  No.  Our lives are continually dogged by entropy, by slackening and forgetting and falling away.  Just so, we are continually in need of returning, of starting over, of tightening up.  However and wherever we live, we humans live between entropy and intention.

So here it is, another Lent.  Another spring.  Another call to start over, to return.  Another chance to remember how much God loves us, and to respond with love in turn.  What a gift!

I resist the whole "giving up" thing about Lent, especially if I think I will return to that practice after Easter.  But sometimes I can let this time be a time to change me, to let God begin the work that continues after that glorious day.  Yesterday I realized that the mystery novels I've been reading the past two weeks are sordid.  I love a good puzzle, and some writers manage to offer one in a world where characters love and serve one another.  But I've run out of those, and as I look for a new author I see I settled for some who write well, but create a world I don't want to live in.  So I'm giving up fiction for Lent.  When Easter comes, I'll see if I can find an uplifting author.  But for now, I have plenty to read that will feed me, and more time to pray and walk and listen to God.

How are you with Lent?  Are you eager to return?  Do you just ignore the whole thing?  Perhaps your tradition doesn't include Lent; how is that for you?  Whatever your practice, or lack thereof, do take the opportunity today to hearken to God's voice.  She's singing love songs to you.  Listen.

And, for fun, our flowers.  The geraniums don't know they're outdoor plants.  The orchids don't know they're supposed to be hard to keep growing.  Don't tell them.



Monday, March 4, 2019

On the Mountaintop




I've spent a lot of time these past few days pondering the readings for Transfiguration Sunday.  Moses' time with God on the mountain especially struck me this year (Exodus 34:29-35).  The intimacy of that converse really landed.  Moses has these moments with God, speaking face to face, but no one else is invited.  And no one else is invited.  It matters that these moments are so private.  The people see the impact of that encounter on Moses' face, but they do not share in the encounter itself.  And Moses knows better than to try to explain.  He covers his face with a veil, to make things as ordinary as they can be for people who can't stand the full-wattage presence of God.

Just before this, in the daily Office readings Jesus told his followers to pray in secret (Mt 6:1-6).  He'll say it again on Ash Wednesday.  His point, it seems to me, is that true prayer is precious and intimate.  To really encounter God we need to pull in a bit, to shelter that tender thread, to let it take root in us rather than run around exclaiming and announcing that we've prayed, or received a message.  There's a time for proclamation, of course, but the deepest encounter with God takes place in private.

This past week I celebrated a milestone in my recovery.  On Saturday my home group makes a big deal out of these milestones, and I was looking forward to sharing the message that continued recovery is possible.  But I got a greater gift.  There was a snowstorm - not a bad one, but sufficient to spook some people.  A lot of people.  My group, which usually runs about 20, had five people including me.  But those five people included some of my favorite companions on the journey.  So instead of a lot of hoopla, and gifts I don't need, I got deep sharing and love with a few people.  It felt, not like Moses on the mountain - that came during my private prayer time - but it felt closer to God.  I found I was grateful for the small group.

I wonder if you can relate to this.  Have you had moments when your encounter with God needs sheltering?  When you need to not tell people what happened?  When you need to veil your face because it shines too brightly?  I hope so.  If you haven't, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Mother in secret, and your Mother who sees in secret will reward you (Mt 6:6).

And when the light comes, hug it close.  Cover your face, close your door.  Be with God.

Thursday, February 28, 2019

Et tu, UMC?

Now, this week, it's the turn of the United Methodist Church.  At a special conference in St. Louis, the worldwide body voted to specifically exclude LGBTQ+ people from marriage and ministry.  Not only did they not move forward; they took a step back.  They are willing to lose congregations, pastors, members to avoid the taint of "impure" love.

I went to a Methodist seminary, a truly Spirit-filled place where all were welcome (including traditionalists, evangelicals, Pentecostals).  I sat with Methodist friends as they struggled with each conference refusing to include them or those they loved.  But somehow, I thought time would keep marching toward inclusion.  Now, I should know that every action generates reaction; witness the United States in 2019.  I know that the arc of history bends toward justice - or, I choose to stand in that belief.  But ouch.

It would be easy to say, "welcome to the Episcopal Church!" Or the UCC, or the ELCA.  But that's not an answer.  These aren't just places we happen to gather; each denomination, each parish is a culture unto itself.  It confers identity and belonging.  At this moment, we are generating a new wave of refugees.  This is nothing to celebrate or capitalize on.

And yet it is incumbent on me, on us, to reach out and welcome those who have lost their homes.  As surely as people are traumatized by physical dislocation, they are traumatized by rejection and expulsion.   Now is a good time to find a Methodist friend and sit with them, to post a welcome sign on your actual or virtual home, to stand with those deemed outside the tent.

"Jesus bent down and wrote with his finder on the ground.  When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, 'Let anyone among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.'  And once again he bent down and wrote on the ground.  When they heard it, they went away, one by one, beginning with the elders; and Jesus was left alone with the woman standing before him.  Jesus straightened up and said to her, 'Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?' She said, 'No one, sir.'  And Jesus said, 'Neither do I condemn you.  Go your way, and from now on do not sin again.'"  (John 8:6b-11)

Good advice for us all.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/im-a-gay-methodist-minister-the-church-just-turned-its-back-on-me/2019/02/27/4980415c-3ab4-11e9-aaae-69364b2ed137_story.html?noredirect=on&utm_term=.623137ac5efb


Wednesday, February 20, 2019

Lambeth, O Lambeth!



Yesterday I read that the Archbishop of Canterbury has specifically decided not to invite the same-sex spouses of bishops to attend next year's Lambeth Conference.  Although this currently affects only one bishop, the Rt. Rev. Mary Glasspool, that won't be true forever.  Last week the diocese of Maine elected the first diocesan bishop who is married to a same-sex partner.  (Language is tricky here.  I can't say "the first married gay diocesan," because I'm sure many diocesans have been gay and married; they just weren't married to a person of the same gender.  That seems to be OK with the archbishop.)

I understand that Archbishop Welby met with Bishop Glasspool and her wife last December.  I know they were all very adult, seeking to find common ground or something.  But I keep thinking: how about the bishops in Africa who endorsed capital punishment for same-sex relations?  How about those who have expelled LGBTQ people from congregations and offices?  How about those who call us perverted or diseased or demonic?  Are they invited?  Are their spouses invited?

I know the rationale for the anti-gay hatred.  In those countries, standing with the outcasts would amount to giving Christianity a bad name, ammunition in a culture war,  I don't recall that Jesus made decisions that way.  And if it works in Africa, can't we say the same over here?  What does it do for the "name" of Christianity in North America when the Anglican Communion won't recognize our changing culture?  So many people hunger for a church where they can be at home.  I hunger for them to know one.

Would Jesus attend this gathering?  Likely he would.  He went to the homes of Pharisees.  But when he went, he taught them a thing or two.  He made sure that some "sinners" got in the door with him.  He would not, I believe, have gone and acted like it was OK to leave out the woman who loved him so outrageously.  He would not have asked Levi to stay home because a tax collector was tainted.  He went to Zacchaeus' house, daring people to tell him not to.

Oh my church, my church!  How often Jesus has longed to teach you, to comfort you, but you were not willing!

https://www.episcopalnewsservice.org/2019/02/18/same-sex-spouses-not-invited-to-next-years-lambeth-conference-of-bishops/

Wednesday, February 6, 2019

Believe?

Our visit to Omaha was illuminating and inspiring.  Our Companions there are eager to share what they have, to create safe space to talk about what matters to people, to share in a rhythm of prayer, to be accountable to each other.  We had conversations that went deep, and played games that made us laugh our heads off.  We made that space, and dreamed about widening the circle of access to it.

On Sunday Elizabeth and I led a forum at St. Martha's Episcopal Church.  We talked about the Companions, how we came to be and what we are trying to do.  At one point we were asked to talk about what we believe and what we don't believe.  This was an invitation to speak frankly, to model the safety and welcome we announce.  I won't share my answer here; anything I name is just a beginning.  Rather, I'm intrigued by the ways our Christian communities are still formed around ideas rather than relationships.  "What do you believe?" usually translates into doctrines, creeds.  They become like loyalty oaths, outlining to whom I belong and on what terms.

I don't think faith is like that, really.  I think faith, and belief, are about trust.  Where do I put my trust?  With whom or what am I related?  As some people would put it, "Who are your kin?"  And people, unlike ideas, cannot be encapsulated and summarized.  We try: we use codes like Myers-Briggs types, Enneagram, astrology, psychological diagnoses.  We use ethnic and racial categories, or gender or age or sexuality categories.  And each of them tell us something.  We may mention other belongings: religion, denomination, faction, community or society, interest groups.  Again, not wrong, but they don't substitute for the actual encounter with another person.  And God, while more than a person, is a person.  Jesus was and is a person.  The Holy Spirit, the Trinity, the living fabric of the universe: persons as well as energies and forces.  Known by me as person.  Trusted as person.

So what do I believe?  I trust in the power of love that creates and recreates the universe.  I trust in the boundless creativity of that love, working in and around me.  I trust in a force I cannot ever name adequately, but that I can share with others.  I trust in the incarnations of that love.  I rely on the community of those who share that trust, that joy, that wonder.

That may not satisfy you.  But I don't really believe that satisfaction is possible for the hunger that burns in me.  I can glimpse it, but the hunger is meant to lead me on to the banquet bigger than I can imagine or describe.  I'm happy to be hungry, happy to live beyond words, happy to rest in God while traveling to God.  I pray you will also be happy in those ways.  I pray that we will continue to build communities where people of faith can learn that what they "believe" matters less than what they love, and that God loves them in ways they cannot believe!

Thursday, January 31, 2019

Scattering Seeds on the Plains




Today Elizabeth and I are going to Omaha Nebraska.  We have two Covenant Companions there now, and one new covenant group member.  They want to see how to become a local community of CMA, how to deepen as a face-to-face community, and they want to know us more.  We are so excited to watch this seed grow.  I hope their story may inspire something in you.

It began with Dario, who attended one of  Elizabeth's retreats in 2015.  He then joined the second covenant group, and became a Candidate for Covenant Companionship in 2016 and a Companion in 2017.   With the priest and the deacon on his church, Dario tried to start a community in Omaha, but they didn't really find the way to get off the ground.  Dario told them about CMA.  Ernesto, his priest, joined the covenant group in 2018, and after six months he asked to become a Candidate.  The third covenant group member, Kaity, is a parishioner at St. Martha's who also wants a community for prayer and exploration.  So now they are three.  That's plenty to start something.

Without our commitment to online communication, this wouldn't be happening in this way.  We know that many people hear "online" and they think distant or lacking, but we have seen differently.  Another covenant group member, who will soon become a Candidate, told us last night of how surprised and pleased she has been with the depth of sharing and intimacy we can achieve.  "It's like we're in the same room," she said.

That's true, but it's still even better to be together in person.  Our hope is that over time other local communities will sprout, carrying and living the Charism in their own way in that place.  We've learned that it's the Charism, more than the details of the Covenant, that bind us to one another.  So we are letting the Spirit lead us, and them, into new paths.

We expect to begin another covenant group sometime this spring.  Prior to that we will have a "virtual open house" to let you see how easy and powerful the Zoom technology is.  Stay tuned for that, and pray for the Omaha seed to sprout in new and wonderful ways.  May you be blessed in all your communities, and all your searching for community.




Wednesday, January 30, 2019

Shane's Sermon, Epiphany 3, St. Paul's Episcopal Church, Chester NY

The Spirit of the Lord is upon me!
Wow.  There’s something to shout about.  That’s not a whisper kind of statement.  That is a shout it from the housetops kind of statement.  
The Spirit of the Lord is upon me.

Who wouldn’t want to be able to say that?
I imagine any number of people, actually.  It’s a lot to take in.  It sounds scary.  
What does it mean for the Spirit to be upon me, to be anointed?  What do I have to do?  Who will I have to become?  
Really, I’d rather have my ordinary life.

The Spirit of the Lord is upon me.
The Spirit of the Lord is upon you.
Every baptized Christian has received the Holy Spirit.  You are sealed and marked as Christ’s own forever.
You have been received into the body of Christ.

And well might you ask what this means for your life.  We make promises at baptism, or promises are made for us.  If we are confirmed, we have made those promises again.  It takes a lifetime to live into them.  But you are already in, regardless of how well or how poorly you fulfill these promises.  The Spirit of the Lord is on you.   You have been anointed and received into the body.

Paul tries to tell the Corinthians what that means.  The Church in Corinth was seething with dissension and division, much of it along lines of class and status.  Paul wants them to know that they belong together, they need each other.  To do this, he uses a metaphor that was well known to his audience.  Other thinkers had compared the community to a body - indeed, the phrase “body politic” reflects that.  But those other writers had used the image to keep the lower classes in their place, deferring to the well off and educated.  So the elite were compared to the brain, and the servants and manual workers were the hands that carried out the instructions of the brain.

Paul turns that upside down.  Well, Jesus does it first.  Jesus does not come to proclaim good news to the rich or ease for the already privileged.  He comes to proclaim release to the captives, recovery of sight to the blind, good news to the poor.  He comes to announce Jubilee, the year in which inequalities are eased, debts are canceled, and everyone starts fresh.  The body he is inaugurating does not sanction privilege and status, but actively works against them.

So Paul follows Jesus.  His image of the body makes clear that all parts belong.  The weakest actually need greater honor, as a balance.  Those who have more, those who are more “respectable” as our translation puts it, are to let go of their privilege and learn humility.

The image of the body points to our diversity of gifts as well as our need of each other.  “Community” is derived from the Latin for “with gifts.”  Community is where our gifts are shared.  The passage we heard last week is precisely about the diversity of gifts.  But diversity is not enough.  We need to really get also that we need each other to manifest our gifts.

This may be especially hard for the well-off, the talented, the smart ones to get.  They are most likely to believe that they have all that they need, and so to try to go it alone.  Even in worshipping, they may still be relying on their own efforts.  They are the spiritually poor, cut off from the abundance of God’s love.  They - we - can become captives in prisons of our own making, even in church.  We may say, “I have no need of you.”  In so doing, I fool myself.  I cannot cut myself off from the body in fact, but I can cut myself off from the sunlight of the Spirit.  I can languish in a self-made prison.

Those who know their need of God and of one another are open to the Spirit working in and among them.  That means seeing that these others with whom I am planted are really, truly, also anointed by God and members of the body.    And in seeing that, I am empowered in a way very different from our common ideas of power.  

In 2000 I left my job in New Mexico.  I told people I wanted to become the left little toe of Christ.  Later I cut that down to the toenail.  I just wanted to be part of that great body, to know myself part of it.  I entered an Episcopal convent, where I learned that I had not the least idea how to be part of a diverse community.  I could be polite, but I could not truly respect those who seemed to me to be just wrong, or slow, or whatever I didn’t like.  I learned that it is hard work being part of that body.  I’m still learning how to do it.  I expect to spend the rest of my life trying.  But, like Paul, I press on for the prize.  I want to know Christ, and the only way to do that now is by encountering the body of Christ here.

Jesus was baptized, and received the Holy Spirit.  Then, Luke tells us, he went to the desert to face the devil.  He brings this message to Nazareth after that encounter.  This sequence is important.  It’s in the desert that he learns that his anointing doesn’t bring privilege but responsibility, not worldly power but the capacity to endure and stand for something bigger than himself.  

Like him, we are baptized and then we go into the world of temptation.  Through adversity and defeat we learn that our membership in the body is a costly gift.  But it is a gift.  It is our precious inheritance, the promise of full humanity.  It is, as the letter to the Colossians says, “Christ in you, the hope of glory.”  And, like all gifts, it is best when it is shared.

The power of the Holy Spirit, the power received at baptism, is not something to brag about.  It’s not something to rest in.  As Jesus’ life and death show, God’s power is uncomfortable and costly, appearing as weakness and foolishness.  It calls us to let go of our privilege, our self-importance, our comparisons.  As we do, we find the glory all around us, shining through the cracks and holes of our lives.  That is something to celebrate.


The Spirit of the Lord is upon you.